Virtual Marrage.!!!!!!

Hi Peeps an Peepesses!!

I was talkin to my lad yesterday and he is considering putting in his papers, Why! because of his virtual marrage. His missus bless her cotton socks is in Osnabruck with his 2 1/2 year old bairn. He has hardly seen either of them over the past couple of years. He spends more time on phone to her or MSN,, hence the virtual marrage.

He is, at present on a gunnery instructors course in Blighty, this finishes in November. He arrived back from the Gulf (Second stint) couple of months back. It seems that rumour central has his regt earmarked for the gulf again early next year. If it isnt the gulf it probably be a 6 month stint at BATUS.

In Nov/Dec he will be on the ranges at Hohne, when he is due to change quarters but has been told he probably wont get leave for the change over. Leaving his 7 month pregnant wife to do the job.

Now we get our estemed leader from No 10 saying he will stick with the Iraq's for as long as it takes, and oh yes don't forget the inceased commitment in Afganistan.

I am just waiting for the whole system to implode.

Makes my 9 years with two tours NI, Canada and Berlin look like a breeze. My heart goes out to any one who is a pad.
Hence me a mister for a year now after 24 years and did not even consider applying for a commission once i had discussed it with the wife.


My wife to be in 88 made up my mind back then! We have been married since 89 and have never moved house more than 2 miles and only 4 times in the last 17 years. That was somthing we wouldnt have achieved had I stayed in and persuaded her to join me! Thanks love, I man it and though I thought I would miss my mates, eventually you get over it!
Its bloody hard for sure but as a wife who has done the moves with new baby in tow and DH in another country I can say that it is IS possible to have a good marriage and have to contend with this kind of crap.

We didn thave a PC in those days, nor mobile phone - even nowadays if I get to chat to DH in our chatroom then fine, if I dont have a call from him in a few weeks then he must be working his bollix off :D

The fact remains - IF he PVR's how long will that take, and when he does come out does he know what job he wants to take up and where they will live?

Sadly have seen friends go down this route only to remuster 18mths down the line as leaving the Army (as they were) was the biggest mistake they ever made.

Hard call like I said - but one that needs to be seriously thought out before acted on.

Vik - who's going thru similar with her DH


PVR used to depend on the CO and when I did it we had a 4 - 6 month waiting list. I believe at the time this was the max we could be made to wait, unit was desperately short of troops with rifle platoons averaging 18 all ranks. Tough I said, I've done enough and keeping me in wouldnt help either of us. As co was my former oc and didnt like to be on same planet as me it wasnt too hard for him to let me go. I never was going far and If I had stayed would have been retired under options for change! No rifle platoon cmdr needs an old sweat with discipline issues and bad knees or whatever I would have had by then. I had become the squre peg for the round hole and luckily it worked out!
Not to say there havent been moments of self doubt. I think I made the right decision, knowing what you want to do for a living is not necessarily the same thing at 16, 18 or 27 as when you are 40 with 2 kids and a mortgage. Getting the most out of what you do is the important lesson and I know lots of people who are happy that they left, miss the mates (or some of them) and wont go back even if they could and yet I know a few who cant ever leave even if there is no option! I suppose we all do!
I met my partner 18mths ago, just after he came back from Iraq, and we were really lucky that he managed to get a UK posting for 12mths instead of doing a tour in Cyprus. However now he has been posted for the first time in our relationship and in April is earmarked for Iraq (3rd time) when we met I could never have imagined how hard it would be to be apart, and how high my phone bill would be :) but what infuriates me the most is that we have to be married before we are seen as a "couple" so now if I go to see him we have to pay 50 quid per night B&B as his room is so small you can't swing a cat, and plus im not allowed in camp after 11pm!!!
However I would never ask him to leave he would'nt know what to do with himself.
Cut him and he bleeds khaki :)
Its not easy especially when your not married and don't live in a community of other people who know how you feel, but I know im not the only one in this situation, or feel alone sometimes, married or otherwise, hence why I joined this site.


MrsCheeks said:
blimey 8O do they still do the "not on camp after 11pm"? good grief I thought that had stopped years ago!

Then again, we used to ignore it anyway lol lol

Vik xxx
We had a scheme where pads could "share a spare room for you and your loved one " in their MQ. I think it was only because we were in NI that it was allowed, our Families office seemed very good compared to the other old remfs that lived in camp. There was talk in the Bn of one of the spare MQ's a semi or detached for obvious reasons to be rented out to singlies for conjugal long weekends, a sort of meet your new family for the prospective mrs Ugly. Now that was in 87 and 88 which seems a long time ago! I cant understand unless MQs are oversubscribed again that it would be a problem to organise again. Perhaps a chat with the Unit Welfare Officer/WRVS to plant the idea! At the time most pads seemd to be placing wife and ankle biters at home to get on the council list whilst preeping an exit if necessary, married unnaccompanied meant a long weekend and flight for free each month, if you cpould fit it in. Not many could hence the remfs took it up and the sgts mess had 2 annexes for live ins. Families officer hit the roof, fear of huge divorce rate yet it paid for the snco's to do it that way!
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