Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Exbilloddie, Jun 9, 2011.

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  1. I was thinking the other day, you know these mongs that become suicide bombers as they are promised an audience with allah (pretty difficult when your a few pounds of mince) and you allegedly are give X-amount of virgins for the use of! Once they have deflowered the virgins and they are no longer clean, do they then have to stone them to death and then sit there all alone for eternity??
  2. Who wants a virgin anyhow rather have a sporty one who knows the ropes
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    it doesnt say which sex the virgins are (but dont tell jarrod or he will be converting asap adn screaming 'I shagged Hitler' at the next bnp rally), plus as suicide is a sin and they have to be buried whole within 24 hours (or something like that) they wouldnt get there anyway.

    mainly though as they dont teach sex in the madrassas and the guys who go boom are also virgins, being given 72 of them does not an immediate orgy make.
  4. We used to have a virgin here in Worcestershire, unfortunately she died, and as she had no family her employer, Royal Mail, paid for the funeral and the headstone. All it said on the headstone was her name and the words "Returned Unopened"

    Thank you and goodnight.
    • Like Like x 2
  5. HA!:)

    But it is a good point, if to get these virgins* the fuckers need to be buried whole, its bit hard I'd think when Abdul has scattered himself over the bazaar.

    *I heard that in old languages the word for raisin and virgin is the same (correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure I've heard that) and in the old, old olden days when the koran was written a bag of raisins would be considered a very rare treat. Add to that the fact that there were probably many wars going on at the time it would be fairly tempting to tell young lads that they were recruiting, who would probably get killed anyway, that they will get 72 raisins for dying for Allah.

    Makes sense in my head, if I'm dribbling just tell me...
  6. I had this conversation with one of my RSAF OJTs in the tower at Tabuk - according to Zabin, the virgins are self-renewing, so you never run out ...
  7. There is a genuine headstone someplace ( read it in one of those books of epitaphs) that says something along the lines of " Her lies Mary Whatsername, Spinster. What in life she denied to men, in death she gives to worms".
  8. HHH

    HHH LE


    This is the advert at the bottom of the page!!!!!
  9. That sort of backs up my raisin theory; a refilling bag of raisins would be smashing to olden-day Abdul :)
  10. You would probably get a better answer in a mosque, but the way I thought it works goes a bit like this.

    In an episode of Shameless, the muslim kid that worked in/or ran the shop did some good deed or other and said, "That's another 50 virgins in paradise," or something like that. So that must be how the virgins get topped up. That's if you believe in this sort of shit.
  11. I'm not about to pull the pin myself, but I wonder: are they available as redheads??
  12. No, you aren't dribbling Houri - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  13. Oh to be the slop jockey at the hot plate;

    'Oi, you! Seventy two fucking raisins! Cunt!'

    Almost worth converting for.
    • Like Like x 2
  14. Stacker1 would know. He knows everything, and is also a virgin.
  15. What they don't know is that all the virgins look like this:


    Serves 'em right.