Very naughty

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by BPS666, Jul 28, 2008.

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  1. Just been browsing the Govt Petitions website and after winding myself up a bit about them cnuts in charge. I thought I would give GB a piece of mind and using the fax number below I sent a self drawn picture of a big cock and balls with all spunk coming out the end to none other than prime minister himself!

    Watch the news at six I reckon "MI6 will be hunting for a very naughty man who today faxed a big cock and balls with all spunk coming out the end of it to the prime minister, who is said to be deeply upset but resigned to hearing our problems and being the best possible solution to all our woes."

    Please feel free to send the PM your own art or messages but remember to tell us what you did

     
  2. How about faxing him some estate agents blurb on houses in Southwold, since he may be looking for somewhere to live after marching-out of No 10?
     
  3. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    That's a pity.

    Anyone got an email address for the cnut?

    [​IMG]

    That's right, you're a wnaker!

    Be a good chap and close the door on your way out.

    If you happen to stumble upon £500 billion on your way out, do leave it for the Tories - they'll need every penny they can get to fix your mess.
     
  4. Come on mate, if you're going to do it properly, then the co-ck and balls needs to be appropriately rendered.

    I've not heard mention of the obligatory sparse hairs popping out of the rudimentary boll-ocks.

    And there should be no more than three wazz-teardrops being emitted from the cartoon japper. Any more and you'll be getting a letter from Peter North's lawyer.

    Go the whole hog, by sending a legs akimbo, fa-nny shot, straight from the hallowed galleries of Westdown Camp bogs. You know the type, the gynaecologist's view, legs spread wide, with a fa-nny bushy enough to look like it's an early Jackson 5 gig.
     
  5. Sorry Biped this service is down for maintenance

    Regarding their Fax

    So there you have it!
     
  6. CC - I think I may indeed have added a couple of clock springs and the Japsy was definately 'gannin in the wrong direction'.

    I can't do fannies properly I always seem to get them out of proportion. Huge great fanny with tiny little wheelchairesque legs drooping down either side. sorry!

    If it's toilet wall protest you are after then may I suggest that you wipe a bit of sh1t on the paper (making sure that it is all thick at the top of your stripe and then sort of getting thinner and wiggly emulating the action of trying to get it out from the sides of your finger nail) and fax that to him (making sure that you annotate on the master document "Original contains real sh1t").
     
  7. Rather than dirtying your finger, you're better off sticking a fresh bit of A4 right up your Khyber, without ripping it of course. If you have a suitably hairy ricker, the bonfire toffee circular portrait you create will singlehandedly raise the Bikini alert status in Downing Street.

    Don't worry about getting your proportions right. As long as you use the hole created by a smashed off toilet roll holder as your fan-ny basis, you can't go wrong.
     
  8.  
  9. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

     
  10. The fanny shot or 'the lancashire witch' as it's also known, is a must. To complete the full horror, a large seeping puddle should be drawn eminating from the general crack area. If so then a few visible wiggling 'smell' lines and buzzing flies are mandatory.

    As for the schlong, the public hairs should be straight, to suggest they were drawn in haste in the back of your mates book whilst he wasn't looking. Be careful though, don't do too many details on the tackle. Veins on the shaft etc, show an unhealthy detailed knowledge and interest in winkles.

    In relation to Convoy's suggestion of putting an A4 piece of paper up your ricker, I suggest forcing it up there post dung (nae wiping) and then running a bft (in boots). The resultant cack smear should look like melted cadbury whole nut Rorschach inkblot test.
     
  11. Alternatively, get a piece of A0 and perform a see-saw motion with it, after you've just got off the Khazi. Careful you don't get your balls marmited up during the process though. Ask a passing female to hold your undercarriage out of the way, whilst you give it some, possibly singing "Sugar, oh honey, honey" all the while.

    The lengthy skidders can then be reduced using an, as yet, uninvented machine, until you get them back down to A4. Incorporate the swirling sh-itstrokes into your signature. It'll look cracking.

    In response to Rigsbys remark about the inherent dangers of too much detail on the widgie. As long as it's an exact reproduction of your own, your in safe hands. As soon as you start letting artistic licence in and adding bits that might be from other bloke's clangers, your on the slippery slope to Dale Winton's speed dial.
     
  12. Re 'the lancashire witch'

    Would it be appropriate for one to draw said 'Witch' on the resultant 'Rorsach'? The reason I ask is that I am quite keen to get some sh1t into the equation (just so Gordon knows). I have toyed with the idea of a set of t1ts getting all 'monked up' by a big c0ck and balls with the appropriate arrows identifying "me" and "your mum" but I don't think this rams the message home.

    I have just broken the sh1t roll holder in the QM's bogs and the resultant hole resembles the pockmark left by a 7.62 short on the side of some blokes house in Bosnia - it is in no way mingesque.
     
  13. Not sure what all the fuss with Mr Brown is about, I think he does a fine job and should be congratulated on his efforts.

    Well done fella
     
  14. Mate, whilst I fully endorse the idea of a big 'sawing' motions, to me dunged-up pods are just another weapon in the 'showing your displeasure through poo shapes' arsenal.

    Nothing says 'I hate you' better than dunking your balons in plop, then sumo crouching over a piece of paper with your winkle raised betwixt thumb and forefinger, and lowering the old turkey's wattle to leave a hairy figure of 8 print.
    Done properly it should look like a huge blue bottle has crashed 'eyes first' into the paper.

    Alternatively you could just coat your helm' in log and tank slap your way to a Jackson Pollack classic.
     
  15. Now that is the most beautiful peice of writing I've ever written, it captures everything perfectly.

    Whats the point in your balls being so close you your barking spider if they aren't going to get a coating now and then.