Very naughty

#1
Just been browsing the Govt Petitions website and after winding myself up a bit about them cnuts in charge. I thought I would give GB a piece of mind and using the fax number below I sent a self drawn picture of a big cock and balls with all spunk coming out the end to none other than prime minister himself!

Watch the news at six I reckon "MI6 will be hunting for a very naughty man who today faxed a big cock and balls with all spunk coming out the end of it to the prime minister, who is said to be deeply upset but resigned to hearing our problems and being the best possible solution to all our woes."

Please feel free to send the PM your own art or messages but remember to tell us what you did

You can also fax the Prime Minister on 020 7925 0918. (From outside the UK, the number is +442079250918)
 
C

cloudbuster

Guest
#2
How about faxing him some estate agents blurb on houses in Southwold, since he may be looking for somewhere to live after marching-out of No 10?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#3
That's a pity.

Anyone got an email address for the cnut?



That's right, you're a wnaker!

Be a good chap and close the door on your way out.

If you happen to stumble upon £500 billion on your way out, do leave it for the Tories - they'll need every penny they can get to fix your mess.
 
#4
Come on mate, if you're going to do it properly, then the co-ck and balls needs to be appropriately rendered.

I've not heard mention of the obligatory sparse hairs popping out of the rudimentary boll-ocks.

And there should be no more than three wazz-teardrops being emitted from the cartoon japper. Any more and you'll be getting a letter from Peter North's lawyer.

Go the whole hog, by sending a legs akimbo, fa-nny shot, straight from the hallowed galleries of Westdown Camp bogs. You know the type, the gynaecologist's view, legs spread wide, with a fa-nny bushy enough to look like it's an early Jackson 5 gig.
 
#5
Sorry Biped this service is down for maintenance

This service has been temporarily suspended for maintenance work. Don't worry, we are still accepting faxes and letters, and you can still let us know your opinions via an epetition or on our new Twitter service.

We apologise for any inconvenience caused. We hope to be back up and running in a few days.

23 June 2008
Regarding their Fax

We would also like to apologise that our fax machine appears to malfunctioning. The Prime Minister has recieved several death threats and a picture of a c0ck and balls with all spunk coming out of the end, the latter of which appears to mirror our manifesto. This is a clear breach of security and as a consequence we have no choice but to send the one eyed fat cnut on an 11 week holiday by which time you will have forgotten why you were trying to contact us anyway you stupid plebian w@nkers.
So there you have it!
 
#6
convoy_cock said:
Come on mate, if you're going to do it properly, then the co-ck and balls needs to be appropriately rendered.

I've not heard mention of the obligatory sparse hairs popping out of the rudimentary boll-ocks.

And there should be no more than three wazz-teardrops being emitted from the cartoon japper. Any more and you'll be getting a letter from Peter North's lawyer.

Go the whole hog, by sending a legs akimbo, fa-nny shot, straight from the hallowed galleries of Westdown Camp bogs. You know the type, the gynaecologist's view, legs spread wide, with a fa-nny bushy enough to look like it's an early Jackson 5 gig.
CC - I think I may indeed have added a couple of clock springs and the Japsy was definately 'gannin in the wrong direction'.

I can't do fannies properly I always seem to get them out of proportion. Huge great fanny with tiny little wheelchairesque legs drooping down either side. sorry!

If it's toilet wall protest you are after then may I suggest that you wipe a bit of sh1t on the paper (making sure that it is all thick at the top of your stripe and then sort of getting thinner and wiggly emulating the action of trying to get it out from the sides of your finger nail) and fax that to him (making sure that you annotate on the master document "Original contains real sh1t").
 
#7
Rather than dirtying your finger, you're better off sticking a fresh bit of A4 right up your Khyber, without ripping it of course. If you have a suitably hairy ricker, the bonfire toffee circular portrait you create will singlehandedly raise the Bikini alert status in Downing Street.

Don't worry about getting your proportions right. As long as you use the hole created by a smashed off toilet roll holder as your fan-ny basis, you can't go wrong.
 
#8
Biped said:
That's a pity.

Anyone got an email address for the cnut?



That's right, you're a wnaker!

Is it me or is there a definate simian resemblance in this pic, to much hanging round with Bush methinks.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#9
tonto108 said:
Biped said:
That's a pity.

Anyone got an email address for the cnut?



That's right, you're a wnaker!

Is it me or is there a definate simian resemblance in this pic, to much hanging round with Bush methinks.
You're getting confused with the gestures. The one of Bush was him picking up some sh!t off the floor and launching at all the people laughing through the cage at him.
 
#10
The fanny shot or 'the lancashire witch' as it's also known, is a must. To complete the full horror, a large seeping puddle should be drawn eminating from the general crack area. If so then a few visible wiggling 'smell' lines and buzzing flies are mandatory.

As for the schlong, the public hairs should be straight, to suggest they were drawn in haste in the back of your mates book whilst he wasn't looking. Be careful though, don't do too many details on the tackle. Veins on the shaft etc, show an unhealthy detailed knowledge and interest in winkles.

In relation to Convoy's suggestion of putting an A4 piece of paper up your ricker, I suggest forcing it up there post dung (nae wiping) and then running a bft (in boots). The resultant cack smear should look like melted cadbury whole nut Rorschach inkblot test.
 
#11
Alternatively, get a piece of A0 and perform a see-saw motion with it, after you've just got off the Khazi. Careful you don't get your balls marmited up during the process though. Ask a passing female to hold your undercarriage out of the way, whilst you give it some, possibly singing "Sugar, oh honey, honey" all the while.

The lengthy skidders can then be reduced using an, as yet, uninvented machine, until you get them back down to A4. Incorporate the swirling sh-itstrokes into your signature. It'll look cracking.

In response to Rigsbys remark about the inherent dangers of too much detail on the widgie. As long as it's an exact reproduction of your own, your in safe hands. As soon as you start letting artistic licence in and adding bits that might be from other bloke's clangers, your on the slippery slope to Dale Winton's speed dial.
 
#12
Re 'the lancashire witch'

Would it be appropriate for one to draw said 'Witch' on the resultant 'Rorsach'? The reason I ask is that I am quite keen to get some sh1t into the equation (just so Gordon knows). I have toyed with the idea of a set of t1ts getting all 'monked up' by a big c0ck and balls with the appropriate arrows identifying "me" and "your mum" but I don't think this rams the message home.

I have just broken the sh1t roll holder in the QM's bogs and the resultant hole resembles the pockmark left by a 7.62 short on the side of some blokes house in Bosnia - it is in no way mingesque.
 
#13
Not sure what all the fuss with Mr Brown is about, I think he does a fine job and should be congratulated on his efforts.

Well done fella
 
#14
convoy_cock said:
Alternatively, get a piece of A0 and perform a see-saw motion with it, after you've just got off the Khazi. Careful you don't get your balls marmited up during the process though. Ask a passing female to hold your undercarriage out of the way, whilst you give it some, possibly singing "Sugar, oh honey, honey" all the while.

.
Mate, whilst I fully endorse the idea of a big 'sawing' motions, to me dunged-up pods are just another weapon in the 'showing your displeasure through poo shapes' arsenal.

Nothing says 'I hate you' better than dunking your balons in plop, then sumo crouching over a piece of paper with your winkle raised betwixt thumb and forefinger, and lowering the old turkey's wattle to leave a hairy figure of 8 print.
Done properly it should look like a huge blue bottle has crashed 'eyes first' into the paper.

Alternatively you could just coat your helm' in log and tank slap your way to a Jackson Pollack classic.
 
#15
the_rigger said:
[
Nothing says 'I hate you' better than dunking your balons in plop, then sumo crouching over a piece of paper with your winkle raised betwixt thumb and forefinger, and lowering the old turkey's wattle to leave a hairy figure of 8 print.
Done properly it should look like a huge blue bottle has crashed 'eyes first' into the paper.
Now that is the most beautiful peice of writing I've ever written, it captures everything perfectly.

Whats the point in your balls being so close you your barking spider if they aren't going to get a coating now and then.
 
#16
the_rigger said:
convoy_cock said:
Alternatively, get a piece of A0 and perform a see-saw motion with it, after you've just got off the Khazi. Careful you don't get your balls marmited up during the process though. Ask a passing female to hold your undercarriage out of the way, whilst you give it some, possibly singing "Sugar, oh honey, honey" all the while.

.
Mate, whilst I fully endorse the idea of a big 'sawing' motions, to me dunged-up pods are just another weapon in the 'showing your displeasure through poo shapes' arsenal.

Nothing says 'I hate you' better than dunking your balons in plop, then sumo crouching over a piece of paper with your winkle raised betwixt thumb and forefinger, and lowering the old turkey's wattle to leave a hairy figure of 8 print.
Done properly it should look like a huge blue bottle has crashed 'eyes first' into the paper.
Alternatively you could just coat your helm' in log and tank slap your way to a Jackson Pollack classic.
I am assuming that the huge blue bottle will have crashed because it can't see, due to it's eyes being covered in sh1t?

I am also considering not wiping for a couple of days and then ripping out the clagnuts to send via snail mail. The tearful harvesting process will be worth it at the thought of some clerk opening a 'dangleberry delivery'. Hopefully Gordon will be in the vicinity and curious.
 
#17
BPS666 said:
I have just broken the sh1t roll holder in the QM's bogs and the resultant hole resembles the pockmark left by a 7.62 short on the side of some blokes house in Bosnia - it is in no way mingesque.
I like your style BPS. Mingesque is a fine word. I think it was a General Mingesque who commanded the French at Dien Bien Phu. With regard to the fan-ny hole you've made, you just need to work on it a bit. What do you think the fuc-king wheel brace in your vehicle tool kit is for. Get it in there and widen it mate. With a bit of luck, the cavity won't be perfectly spherical but will be a bit battered looking. These will do for the owld labs'. Let the magic marker be your friend then. A good bushy twa-t will more than mask any shortcomings in your newly fashioned orifice.

Make sure you have her saying something encapsulated in a speech bubble as well, in the form of a ghastly come-on, like

"Ooooh hello soldier, i'm miss world and I want shagg-ing" Nothing realistic though, like

"Fcuk me, mate. How far have you fcuking sank, if your thinking of knocking one out to me?"
 
#18
BPS - a quick hint: when representing the globules of jiz spurting forth from the head of your appropriately circumcised cartoon schlong (now looking a bit like the NATO map-marking symbol for a wheeled air defence missile), try using Tipp-ex, or an alternative proprietary brand of liquid paper, to further add to the semen-realism.

If sending a missive by post, you may care to wipe some snot or a juicy bogey just inside the envelope as a 'little surprise'.
 

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