verbal suicide/shooting yourself in the foot

I was on course in bovington some years ago...'84 springs to mind, where one thursday evening at the NAAFI stomp I drew the attentions of a WRAC, we went outside and had the traditional grope against the colonel gaddafi wall and I sensed things were going to progress when she said "it's alright, i've got the coil fitted" in all my 18 years I'd never had such an easy conquest this unnerved me and all I could fall back on was my sharp with. Having already done the initial recce I replied with lightning speed as only a drunk mind can with " with a cnut that size you could have had carpets fitted!" she left and I've been remorseful of what could have been ever since!


Book Reviewer
Maybe this belongs on the Urban Myth thread.

Out unit had a female Assistant Adjutant. She took personal control of the support and admin of all the WRACs on camp. Being WRAC herself, she stoutly defended them from all comers. And woe betide anyone who called them Wracs (pronounced "racks"), like a friend of mine did.

"Racks? Racks? A rack is something you screw to the wall!"

Either she shot herself in the foot or had a powerful, self-deprecating sense of humour.
Reminds me of a time whilst based at Thorney Island (best posting bar far)

Young sprogg is going out with Sergeants Daughter (suicidal or what)

Anyway he is doing the fondling and snogging behind one of the hangers. Now this young girl had PLENTY of puppy fat. After about 10 minutes hoofing and ouffing and gropping she says in a broad northern accent.

"If you want me tits there a bit higher"

Cant beleive he told us all but he was a good sport, priceless

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