I’m hosting a charity disco this Sunday to raise money for people who can’t reach orgasm. If you can't come, let me know. After not seeing my elderly neighbour for a couple of weeks, my wife and I noticed a vile stench coming from his house as we walked past. ‘Go and have a look just to make sure'. I peered through the letterbox and our worst fears were confirmed …………………………………….. fucking Romanians have moved in. A young choirboy catches the new Pope having a wank. ‘What are you doing Holy Father?’ he asks. ‘It’s called masturbating’,the Pope replies. ‘And you’ll be doing it soon’. ‘Why’s that Holy Father?’ asks the choirboy, ‘Because my wrist is fucking killing me,’ the Pope replied.