It all depends on your sexual orientation. That and your ability to communicate with heathen races. If you are a proper Englishman you will, of course, want to be a Grenadier, or Coldstream at a push. If you prefer to be dry bummed by a leprechaun or to hang out of the back of a sheep, go with the appropriate mob. If you like to cross-dress then look North.
Well that's what I'm doing at the moment with the visits, I was just angling for some pre-amble. For example I had an ex guards officer tell me that he thought the Grenadiers and the Coldstream were very much 'by the book' and the Irish and Welsh were a little more relaxed (but no less professional) does anyone think there could be any sustenance to that?
I am sure that all of the messes mentioned will have decent chaps as messing and wines members, and therefore your probability of receiving some sustenance will be high. Whether there is any substance in your ex Guards officer's comments is an entirely separate matter.
I was always undre the impression that if one didnt know instinctively which Regiment was the correct one then one was not going to get into any of them anyway.
I suggest applying to the Paras - they will take anyone (or at least any background, you still have to pass the tests). Or maybe the Royal Signals as they have no standards at all (but remarkably good promotion prospects).