Vandalism or a justified lesson?

So I was out walking the dogs on the fell, one of them curls one out on the path :D Now I always carry some plastic bags and plastic gloves, their my dogs and I clean up after them when they dump where Joe public can walk in their mess.

I have perfected the plastic glove full of dog crap reversal, then into a placcy bag for disposal at a safe location.

Then I’m back in the motor and off home. Call from me old dear “don’t forget we are going to Tesco today” bugger turn around and pick her up.

She’s just 76 and been disable for 20 years, can’t walk too well.

As we pull into the Tesco car park, well it’s a small car park with 3 handicapped places next to the entrance where you pick up your trolley.
We are pulling round when some Wankker in a big shiny Merc pulls up and blocks off 2 of the handicapped places, jumps out and starts to walk away – not even going into the shop.

Jack the moon- head employed to collect the trolleys sees him and “very bravely” said something to the man. Reply not heard but must have been on the lines of “FUCK OFF MONGBOY or such”.

That did it, I was pissed off and the red mist descended.

Dropped of my mum at the door and parked away up the car park.

How to spoil this knobs day. Checked the car no super glue or paint BUT a can of WD40.

So I palm it and walk up to ”admire” the Merc, as I do blast a full can onto his windscreen and down the passenger side windows.

Jack saw me and started dribbling in glee. Back to the car and then!

Dog poo, Oh what to do, right out with the plastic glove walk into the shop and as I pass, quick flick of the wrist and he scores right on the passenger side of the front screen of his motor.

½ hour later and we are leaving and Dick head comes back at the same time.

He doesn’t even bother to look just jumps in and fires up his twat mobile, its one of those fancy ones that has automatic windscreen action if there is liquid on the screen.
The joy to see his face as the mix of oil and shite wipes over and blanks out his view.

Best thing was driving home laughing thinking what he thought.

1. Big fucking birds?
2. Flying dogs?
3. Mong on trolley watch curled one down in the car park?

So was I wrong, was it vandalism or a justified lesson?
fuck him, I hate these fookin wastes of rations.... got what he deserved.... unless he was displaying his mong badge in the window...


This is an act of blatant vandalism and was completely childish.........Sir you are a star and I can't help but chuckle........ :salut:
Sir , you are an inspiration.
May I be permitted to copy your style as I know someone equally deserving.
Happy with that fella, may make him think twice about parking where he shouldn't

I bet he took it out on the poor trolly dolly.

Hope he didnt ask for a copy of the car park CCTV footage eh?
Sir, you have committed a heinous crime! However you are completely justified and therefore exonerated
To tell the truth I am slightly disappointed that you weren't able to append a more lasting momento to his Mercedes, cnut spelled out with brake fluid on the boot or bonnet is appropriate. However, it was a good effort and you are to be commended.

Edited for dyslexic fingers spelling Mercedes incorrectly
You get my vote for top judge when the post becomes available.

A little more immediate action would stop a lot of this type of shi'ite.

Power to you mate !

Good drills!

What a pity it wasn't a convertible. It would have been even better on the driver's seat.
You did it all wrong.

1. smash every window in car.
2. slash every tyre.
3. smash his kneecaps.

Then, smeer dog sh1t o ver his upholtery. sorted.
chocolate_frog said:
You did it all wrong.

1. smash every window in car.
2. slash every tyre.
3. smash his kneecaps.

Then, smeer dog sh1t o ver his upholtery. sorted.
No no no..

1. smash every window in car.
2. slash every tyre.
3. Mix dog sh1t with said WD40, sprinkle in a little bit of sand, and pour liberally into oil sump, radiator, and anywhere else you can reach :D ...
4. THEN smash his kneecaps.

Job Jobbed :twisted:

Similar threads

Latest Threads