Valhalla Rising - WTF?

#1
I've just spent 1 hour 32 minutes watching this, this, this, travesty of nature, and I'm gutted, I want my 92 minutes of life back.

For a film which seemed to promise so much at the beginning (gratuitous violence, moody atmosphere, actors better known for their acting ability than their bank balance), the film just seemed to go absolutely nowhere.

Is there any bugger out there who watched, understood & enjoyed this film? If there is could you please let me know, I feel like I've had a stroke.
 
#2
Watched and understood, took a couple of repeat viewings to understand. In a nutshell don't visit North America on a holy crusade they kill you dead.
 
#3
I thought it was a good film with a deep and meaningfull story. The acting was superb and the dialogue was minimal but authentic. The background scenery was breathtaking. Did I mention I was completely stoned when i watched it.
 
#4
Book was better being as the story was not even slightly connected to the film
 
#5
Book was better being as the story was not even slightly connected to the film
I take it you're not on about Clive Cussler's 'Valhalla Rising', but one distantly related to the film? Is the book any good?
 
#6
Oh shit,I forgot about that one,it was even worse than 'Iron Sky'..............absolute shite.

Mine went into a charidee bag within an hour of the finish! ;-)
 
#7
Rising is a hard film to fathom unless you read up a bit on the old Norse Mythology.

Bloke on a chain can see the skein of his life, he always wins as he knows he isn't going to die yet, he finally see's his death in the new world, knowing it to be his time he let's the natives kill him as he knows he cannot change his fate.
 
#8
I watched it the other week, utterly pointless film. I too wanted 92 minutes of my life back after watching it.
 
#9
Rising is a hard film to fathom unless you read up a bit on the old Norse Mythology.

Bloke on a chain can see the skein of his life, he always wins as he knows he isn't going to die yet, he finally see's his death in the new world, knowing it to be his time he let's the natives kill him as he knows he cannot change his fate.

Still,a shit film though! ;-)
 
#11
Rising is a hard film to fathom unless you read up a bit on the old Norse Mythology.

Bloke on a chain can see the skein of his life, he always wins as he knows he isn't going to die yet, he finally see's his death in the new world, knowing it to be his time he let's the natives kill him as he knows he cannot change his fate.
I thought One Eye was supposed to represent Odin(the "real" one, not the cuddly Marvel Comics version). He had lost the sight in one eye but gained the ability to see the future. And he was a highly skilled warrior.
 
#12
I thought One Eye was supposed to represent Odin(the "real" one, not the cuddly Marvel Comics version). He had lost the sight in one eye but gained the ability to see the future. And he was a highly skilled warrior.
To see the "Skein" means to see the weave and the pattern of your life - the future.

Dumbass.
 
#13
To see the "Skein" means to see the weave and the pattern of your life - the future.

Dumbass.
Actually, a Norseman would not have understood what someone was talking about if they used the word "Skein" to describe the future. The Norse/Germanic concept is, "Wyrd", fate or future. Hence the saying, "Wyrd bio ful arad" - Fate is inescapable. Weave or Skein is relevant only in the context of the Three Norns weaving and eventually cutting the thread of a person's life. But the Norse never referred to it as anything other than Wyrd.

You ******* dumbass.^_~
 
#14
And he could see that moment when the thread was cut - so he could see the skein of his life, translation being merely semantics.

You remain a dumbass.
 
#15
I caught maybe the first 15 minutes of this on cable, turned the channel.
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#16
so its worse than salute of the jugger then?
 
#17
I've just spent 1 hour 32 minutes watching this, this, this, travesty of nature, and I'm gutted, I want my 92 minutes of life back.

For a film which seemed to promise so much at the beginning (gratuitous violence, moody atmosphere, actors better known for their acting ability than their bank balance), the film just seemed to go absolutely nowhere.

Is there any bugger out there who watched, understood & enjoyed this film? If there is could you please let me know, I feel like I've had a stroke.
Anybody see this piece of crap?

Love (2011 film) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Promising start with an American Civil War battle and deteriorates into the most incoherent shite I have ever sat through.

Bloody awful film!
 

Grumblegrunt

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
2001 without the budget
 
#19

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