Valentines days, bollocks more like?

Auld-Yin

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Well I had a great night. The best steak mince, ginger-beer and BlackJack sweetie I have had in a long time! Honest.
There you go mate - fixed it for you as you had missed out a couple of words.
 
There you go mate - fixed it for you as you had missed out a couple of words.
Bloody hell auld yin you have installed those video cameras again haven't you? How else do you know about my black jack obssession?

In reality I shared a bottle of wine with the betrothed but didn't get a blow job no as she was tired.





















From all the shagging we did last weekend!!!
 
We've never prescribed to the "I Love You Today.... oh and also on yr birthday, and a little bit on the kids birthdays. Load of wank.

Enjoyed the Monday afternoon Bunfight in Tesco though, where, 25 sweating fat middle-aged fuckwits, deperate for their only blow job of the year, managed to pull the whole flower stall over and flood the fookin shop. Knobjockeys
 
Enjoyed the Monday afternoon Bunfight in Tesco though, where, 25 sweating fat middle-aged fuckwits, deperate for their only blow job of the year, managed to pull the whole flower stall over and flood the fookin shop. Knobjockeys
That sounds like a fucking hilarious scenario right there. I'd have loved to have been pointing and laughing.

My missus and I agreed not to get each other anything this year as we've just pulled ourselves out of debt for the second fucking time (which is entirely her fault and nothing to do with me) so it was a cheap one. I bought a packet of felt-tip pens and some card and left them lying around the house whilst I secretly worked on my own home-made masterpiece of a valentines day card.

I folded a little bit of cardboard and pressed a cut-out heart and cut a hole in the front and made it a pop out one. The pop out heart said "Happy trivial day of romance for the sake of commercialism. According to the people in charge of shopping, I love you!" I thought this was witty and funny and basically proved what I thought about Valentines day and all that stuff but at the same time the card was nice and sweet and all that because I'd put a good two to three hours of time into colouring the fucking thing in.

I was told that it was a nasty message, was told not to bother running her a nice bubble bath and when I cooked her dinner she ate it like Rentokill had been at it. I still got my knob nibbled in bed but she made sure it was a painful and uncomfortable experience.

Women, eh?
 
That sounds like a fucking hilarious scenario right there. I'd have loved to have been pointing and laughing.

My missus and I agreed not to get each other anything this year as we've just pulled ourselves out of debt for the second fucking time (which is entirely her fault and nothing to do with me) so it was a cheap one. I bought a packet of felt-tip pens and some card and left them lying around the house whilst I secretly worked on my own home-made masterpiece of a valentines day card.

I folded a little bit of cardboard and pressed a cut-out heart and cut a hole in the front and made it a pop out one. The pop out heart said "Happy trivial day of romance for the sake of commercialism. According to the people in charge of shopping, I love you!" I thought this was witty and funny and basically proved what I thought about Valentines day and all that stuff but at the same time the card was nice and sweet and all that because I'd put a good two to three hours of time into colouring the fucking thing in.

I was told that it was a nasty message, was told not to bother running her a nice bubble bath and when I cooked her dinner she ate it like Rentokill had been at it. I still got my knob nibbled in bed but she made sure it was a painful and uncomfortable experience.

Women, eh?
There's your problem mate. Marriage is a partnership so you both got yourselves into debt, accept a bit of responsibility and she might not see your joke as a direct pop at her.
 
There's your problem mate. Marriage is a partnership so you both got yourselves into debt, accept a bit of responsibility and she might not see your joke as a direct pop at her.
I know that our debt was a double effort - that was implied...kind of. It was at least supposed to be implied!
 

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