Valentines days, bollocks more like?

Pervert, I'm glad I don't have daughters
But do you still have your school uniform for him? :eek:)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who is twisted. Just think of all the arguments that will go down because some bloke got the wrong card/present.
 
Roses are a joke

Violets make me titter

You always like a poke

And love it up the shitter.



Roses are duff

Violets are crap

Show me your muff

And I'll cum in your lap.
 
We are going on cruise in May and MrsDriver has been banging on about having matching luggage, so I've got her some for Valentines day.....six Tesco carrier bags.
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
We are going on cruise in May and MrsDriver has been banging on about having matching luggage, so I've got her some for Valentines day.....six Tesco carrier bags.
You old romantic you!

I hope you realise that this now means that you will have to maintain this high standard and that she will no longer expect anything less.
 
You old romantic you!

I hope you realise that this now means that you will have to maintain this high standard and that she will no longer expect anything less.

You mean like Liddles?
 
We are going on cruise in May and MrsDriver has been banging on about having matching luggage, so I've got her some for Valentines day.....six Tesco carrier bags.
Can't buy class like that
 

ArmyBarmyBen

Old-Salt
Roses are red,

Violets make me shiver,

Spread your legs,

I'll make you quiver
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Roses are red,
But I like carnations,
You're so crap in bed,
That I fucked your alsations.
[/FONT]
 
You lot think yourself lucky. I have to do it all again in August for Qixi Jie.

I may have to rethink my stance on multiculturalism...

If it's been sent from my HTC Hero using Tapatalk then I'm probably pissed.
 

rampant

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]Roses are red,
But I like carnations,
You're so crap in bed,
That I fucked your alsations.
[/FONT]
Liking that, one of the best so far.

Come to think of it, whith such an array of poetical whimsy and talent across these boards isn't it about time that we started producing Arrse greeting cards for particular dates/events through out the year - it could be called Skidmark Greetings Cards - a series of perverse squaddie theme greeting cards, portion of the proceeds to charity.

No?
 
yes very good idea
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
Roses are dear
Violets are too
Here's some fuckin daisies
They'll just have to do.
 
I wish I were a bar of soap,
Hanging on a string.
Let's face it, it's the nearest, luv,
You'll let me to your ring.

If it's been sent from my HTC Hero using Tapatalk then I'm probably pissed.
 
Bragged about going on a cruise, well it sank. I did warn him.
We've not had a progress report off him for a while. Are we taking bets on what brought on his demise?

I think he either choked on a divorcee's leathery fanny flap or is caught on some reef like a carrier bag on a fence.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
We've not had a progress report off him for a while. Are we taking bets on what brought on his demise?

I think he either choked on a divorcee's leathery fanny flap or is caught on some reef like a carrier bag on a fence.
It would probably be food poisoning happens a lot on cruises.
 

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