Valentines Day

Discussion in 'Blue Jokes' started by dinosaur_poo, Feb 13, 2012.

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  1. On Valentines Day a drunk guy walked up to an attractive bird and said,

    "Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

    "Yes, but I know you're going to ask eventually anyway, so let's get on with it."

    "Great. How many men have you had sex with?"

    "That's my business!" she snapped.

    "Great! How much?"
  2. I bought my misses a bunch of flowers on valentines day, she said "I suppose I will have to open my legs for them" I said "why, dont we have a vase?"
  3. I got my Valentines day card from MoonPig. She hates it when I call her that.
  4. My missus went balistic when i brought home flowers on valentines day!

    I cant understand the woman, they were tied to a lampost so it was obvious no-one wanted them!
  5. I tried to get a card from Moonpig, but apparently, the rhyme

    "Roses are red,
    Violets are twisted,
    Bend over love,
    You're about to be fisted"

    wsan't quite what they had in mind when they said you could create your own greeting.