Valentine's Day nightmare's!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by ex_donkey_man, Jan 25, 2011.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Ok, so it’ll soon be Valentines Day, (Sure you’re all pleased to hear)! So everybody must have had some nightmare experience, so I though it’d start that the wanker one I had a few years ago.

    I know it was 2002 because I left the army the year before, I was working for charities at the time and on Valentines Day I was in Barking, just outside the station. If you know Barking, there used to be a good little flower shop in the station, which might still be there. At about 3pm I asked my boss if I could grab some flowers in a bit and get her to hold on to them (Long story) for an hour or so until we finished, she said fine, no worries, so I thought I’ll grab them about 4.30pm. If you don’t know Barking station, it’s like a rectangle with one long side missing and the other 3 sides have shops along them and then in one corner you have the steps down to the platform.
    About 4pm a police car tips up, lights on, no siren and the coppers get out quite relaxed, then another cop car and then an ambulance. All very laid back to say the least. About 10 minutes later, they pull a shutter down on one of the two entrances to the station, right next to the flower shop. About 5pm I go to grab some flowers from the shop, they’ve sold out inside and explain that because of the police closing part of the station, they can’t get their flowers from outside the shop on the station concourse (Very nice ones). So at 6pm when I finished, all the other bastard shops had sold out, I wondered through the open part of the station to find that some bloody South East Asian looking woman had only gone and fucking died right outside the bloody flower shop! There were a couple of bloody hand prints on the wall and her lay of the floor under a blanket (Please be ware that this is about 2 fucking hours after the police tipped up). So with no shops from tube to my house I went home empty handed. Needless to say there was a greater chance of my missus asking one of her cute friends over for an anal threesome than believing the story I just fed her! I searched the papers for a bloody week after that and found fuck all.

    So if you do know of the woman that died on 14/02/2002 at/on Barking station – PM me I’ll give you (Gladly she is) my Ex’s address and you can go round and butt fuck her while confirming my story.

    Thanks!