Vagina Sex: Educate Me

#1
As sad as it sounds, I have only ever had sexual relations with two females - one awkward, drunken blow-job and fumble at an Xmas party at school and a slighty more memorable spit-roast of an obese black whore in Sennelager. From what I remember of the first occasion I felt about 6 different holes before finding what I assume was the right one. The second time, I can't even pretend that I was concentrating on the woman and, like thousands before me, failed to even get it up. I realise now that my sex education in this area has been sadly lacking and I've never felt the inclination or had the opportunity to learn more. So educate me! Do you actually enjoy going down on that? Is a w@nk carried out by someone without a penis in any way comparable to doing it yourself? How do you cope with the lovey cr@p they must come out with after you've showered their face and just want to get your head down? How do you even begin to find the G-Spot when I couldn't even get my fingers in past the second knuckle? And just what do you see in t1ts? All info gladly accepted!
 

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#4
It's not that I'm particularly into birds, it's just that I am yet to find a bloke who is as good looking as me.

Until then it's fannies all the way.
 
#5
Hetero anal is far better, they squeal like piggies & their blubbery bums feel all mushy afterwards.

~D.C.
 
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#6
Ah Wedge, old froot. To those who understand, no explanation is necessary. To those who do not, none is possible.

Somebody on here has/had that as their signature. Been looking for an opportunity to use it for ages. Thanks.
 
#7
wedge35 said:
As sad as it sounds, I have only ever had sexual relations with two females - one awkward, drunken blow-job and fumble at an Xmas party at school and a slighty more memorable spit-roast of an obese black whore in Sennelager. From what I remember of the first occasion I felt about 6 different holes before finding what I assume was the right one. The second time, I can't even pretend that I was concentrating on the woman and, like thousands before me, failed to even get it up. I realise now that my sex education in this area has been sadly lacking and I've never felt the inclination or had the opportunity to learn more. So educate me! Do you actually enjoy going down on that? Is a * carried out by someone without a penis in any way comparable to doing it yourself? How do you cope with the lovey cr@p they must come out with after you've showered their face and just want to get your head down? How do you even begin to find the G-Spot when I couldn't even get my fingers in past the second knuckle? And just what do you see in t1ts? All info gladly accepted!
I enjoy going down on a girl, especially when freshly shaven, and feels silky smooooooooooooth. :)

Also, you don't need much more than the second knuckle to find the g-spot. Just curl your finger back on itself until you feel the rough patch of skin. Press/rub it, usually whilst sucking the clit. Use the other free hand to pinch her nipple/squeeze one of her breasts. Or cover her mouth with your hand so she can only breath through her nostrils.

And a wank from a girl can be better than when I do it - especially if she sucks on your balls at the same time. :p
 
#8
Wedge, try for third time lucky -- you just might answer your own question and find you like it.

Remember to rig up a camera and post photos. :)
 
#9
jarrod248 said:
amazing__lobster said:
wedge35 said:
As sad as it sounds, I have only ever had sexual relations with two females - one awkward, drunken blow-job and fumble at an Xmas party at school and a slighty more memorable spit-roast of an obese black whore in Sennelager. From what I remember of the first occasion I felt about 6 different holes before finding what I assume was the right one. The second time, I can't even pretend that I was concentrating on the woman and, like thousands before me, failed to even get it up. I realise now that my sex education in this area has been sadly lacking and I've never felt the inclination or had the opportunity to learn more. So educate me! Do you actually enjoy going down on that? Is a * carried out by someone without a penis in any way comparable to doing it yourself? How do you cope with the lovey cr@p they must come out with after you've showered their face and just want to get your head down? How do you even begin to find the G-Spot when I couldn't even get my fingers in past the second knuckle? And just what do you see in t1ts? All info gladly accepted!
I enjoy going down on a girl, especially when freshly shaven, and feels silky smooooooooooooth. :)

Also, you don't need much more than the second knuckle to find the g-spot. Just curl your finger back on itself until you feel the rough patch of skin. Press/rub it, usually whilst sucking the clit and pinching her nipple/squeezing one of her breasts. Or cover her mouth with your hand so she can only breath through her nostrils.

And a * from a girl can be better than when I do it - especially if she sucks on your balls at the same time. :p

Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh STOP IT!
:hump:
 
#10
Mr_Creosote said:
What an utterly crap wah!
Tragically, it isn't a wah - I really have only become intimate with two chicks. Whilst others were skipping through the elysian sexual fields of Chatham, Hamburg and...err...Port Stanley, I was sat in the corner hoping that closing time would come soon so I could go back and bang one out over Mark Owen.
 
#11
wedge35 said:
Mr_Creosote said:
What an utterly crap wah!
Tragically, it isn't a wah - I really have only become intimate with two chicks. Whilst others were skipping through the elysian sexual fields of Chatham, Hamburg and...err...Port Stanley, I was sat in the corner hoping that closing time would come soon so I could go back and bang one out over Mark Owen.
It wasn't you who used to stick up little pictures of cocks (that had been jizzed over) in the toilets at Chatham, was it?
 
#12
amazing__lobster said:
Also, you don't need much more than the second knuckle to find the g-spot. Just curl your finger back on itself until you feel the rough patch of skin. Press/rub it, usually whilst sucking the clit. Use the other free hand to pinch her nipple/squeeze one of her breasts. Or cover her mouth with your hand so she can only breath through her nostrils.
Are you single? If not, would your partner mind sharing? ;) You've obviously been paying attention in class! 8)
 
#13
amazing__lobster said:
wedge35 said:
Mr_Creosote said:
What an utterly crap wah!
Tragically, it isn't a wah - I really have only become intimate with two chicks. Whilst others were skipping through the elysian sexual fields of Chatham, Hamburg and...err...Port Stanley, I was sat in the corner hoping that closing time would come soon so I could go back and bang one out over Mark Owen.
It wasn't you who used to stick up little pictures of cocks (that had been jizzed over) in the toilets at Chatham, was it?
No, but I once cum on a complete cnut's toothbrush in H Block.
 
#15
wedge35 said:
Mr_Creosote said:
What an utterly crap wah!
Tragically, it isn't a wah - I really have only become intimate with two chicks. Whilst others were skipping through the elysian sexual fields of Chatham, Hamburg and...err...Port Stanley, I was sat in the corner hoping that closing time would come soon so I could go back and bang one out over Mark Owen.
Clearly you weren't in The Ship
 
#16
Grey_Mafia65 said:
amazing__lobster said:
Also, you don't need much more than the second knuckle to find the g-spot. Just curl your finger back on itself until you feel the rough patch of skin. Press/rub it, usually whilst sucking the clit. Use the other free hand to pinch her nipple/squeeze one of her breasts. Or cover her mouth with your hand so she can only breath through her nostrils.
Are you single? If not, would your partner mind sharing? ;) You've obviously been paying attention in class! 8)
Always thought that was common knowledge!?
 
#17
Dashing_Chap said:
wedge35 said:
Mr_Creosote said:
What an utterly crap wah!
Tragically, it isn't a wah - I really have only become intimate with two chicks. Whilst others were skipping through the elysian sexual fields of Chatham, Hamburg and...err...Port Stanley, I was sat in the corner hoping that closing time would come soon so I could go back and bang one out over Mark Owen.
Clearly you weren't in The Ship
Were you? :wink:
 
#20
wedge35 said:
Dashing_Chap said:
wedge35 said:
Mr_Creosote said:
What an utterly crap wah!
Tragically, it isn't a wah - I really have only become intimate with two chicks. Whilst others were skipping through the elysian sexual fields of Chatham, Hamburg and...err...Port Stanley, I was sat in the corner hoping that closing time would come soon so I could go back and bang one out over Mark Owen.
Clearly you weren't in The Ship
Were you? :wink:
No, I was in The Star half pished & putting a pound in the jar so I could watch some fat scutter throw her flab around. :D

In one of my very infrequent visits to that hell hole.

-DC
 
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