Chaps: The clock is ticking down the the biggest day of the year yet again: St Valentine's Day is just around the corner. With H-hour approaching inexorably, I trust you are all busily digging up the neighbour's rose garden and/or be-ribboning multiple boxes of Milk Tray. However, a gift is not enough! A liberal application of cheese - cheese in the verbal sense - is also required. Given that some fellows become tongue-tied when confronted by an attractive maiden under the sophisticated lighting, of, say, a Scunthorpe nightclub, I offer you (free) the following corker of a line. Men! Use this one right - rehearsals are suggested - and it's deal sealed. Here it is: "Doris! Mildred! Bertha!" (Delete as appropriate)* "My, but you are a vision of moon-lit loveliness tonight." (Pause here for dramatic effect. You have her attention.) "Let me take you upon my manly shoulders (flex rippling delts at this point) and casevac you up the Mountain of Love..." (adopt dashing, manly look) "...to the Peak of Ecstasy!" (Take stance, stand fast, prepare arms for her to fall into). Due to the seismically powerful nature of this love charm, I regret to say the following conditions apply: - One Arrser, one use only; - Copyrighted Andy_S; and - All successful users, kindly PM pictures of your conquest to me. So there ye have it. Dare I suggest - in the interests of chappish solidarity? - that other Arrsers post their own corkers, crackers and belters so we can benefit from each others' experience in matters of the heart? TIA. *For those seeking chap-on-chap action on this holiest of days: Simply insert Harry, Rodrigo or Butch in place of Doris, Mildred or Bertha and you, too, are sorted!