Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by 57Chevy, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with
    animals but the animals must be female. Having sexual
    relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

    (Like THAT makes sense?)


    In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
    woman's Genitals but
    prohibited from looking directly at
    them during the Examination. He may only see their
    reflection in a mirror.

    (Do they look different reversed?)


    Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a
    corpse.This also applies to undertakers. The sex
    organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or
    piece of wood at all times.

    (A brick?)


    The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is

    (Much worse than "going blind!")


    There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel
    the Countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay
    them for the Privilege of having sex for the first

    Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for
    virgins to marry.

    (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job,
    anywhere else in the world that even comes close to


    In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to
    kill her adulterous husband but may only do so with
    her bare hands. The Husband's' illicit lover, on the
    other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

    (Ah! Justice!)


    Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England but
    only In tropical fish stores.

    (But of course!)


    In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her
    husband and the first time this happens, her mother
    must be in the room to witness the act.

    (Makes one shudder at the thought.)


    In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to
    have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same

    ( I presume this was a big enough problem that they
    had to pass this


    In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
    vending machines, with one
    exception: Prophylactics may be
    dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
    where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
    the premises."

    (Is this a great country or what? Well . . .Not as
    great as Guam!)


    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an

    (Who volunteers for this stuff?)


    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
    for pleasure.

    (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)


    The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
    times its own weight and always falls over on its
    right side when Intoxicated.

    (From drinking little bottles of .... ?)

    (Did the government pay for this research?)


    Butterflies taste with their feet.

    (Ah, geez.)


    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

    (I know some people like that.)


    Starfish don't have brains.

    (I know some people like that, too.)


    And, the best for last:

    Turtles can breathe through their butts.

    (And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)