Now don't get me wrong, I really appreciate the thought when somebody buys me a present, but it really winds me up when somebody who has bought me something utterly useless gets really offended when they find out that I have not used it. This really grips my poo at the moment with people buying clothes for my baby which are completely impractical. Some genuine examples: A very beautiful vest/dress which is made of fine wool. The care instructions say that it should be washed as little as possible and very gently. Beautiful, no really. Expensive, certainly. But, genius, what do babies do? They are sick. What else do they do? They leak bright yellow poo out of their nappies onto nice expensive fine wool. Brilliant. If this gets worn once I will be surprised... A pretty little "party dress" in newborn size with inbuilt pants to prevent it riding up. Well, the genius that bought me this one has clearly been too long out of the loop of having babies. You really think I'm going to wrestle my very fragile newborn into this? At this point I was having enough trouble getting her into vests and baby grows. More to the point, do you think that I will be in a state during the first two months to either contemplate or have the opportunity of putting her in this? Self-delusion! Even worse, to change a nappy you have to wrestle the newborn out of it and then back into it. Brilliant! Dungarees that do not open with poppers around the crotch and inside leg. Fantastic for those explosively leaky poo moments. Anything with buttons that have to be opened when changing a nappy. Again, fantastically user-friendly when covered with poo. Anything not machine washable. If you buy me something like this, you are welcome to come and hand wash the poo off it. If you can't relate to this, have a baby and you will quickly be able to! I can't even begin to think of all the useless adult gifts that have been given to me over the years, so irate am I about all the useless baby crap. On the other hand, people who have had kids in the last few years had universally given me sensible and useful gifts for the baby. For this, I am eternally grateful.