USS William J Clinton

Discussion in 'Multinational HQ' started by CarpeDiem, Sep 26, 2006.

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  1. The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver, BC.

    The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton "for his foresight in military budget cuts" and his conduct while president. The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck but form a very menacing presence.

    As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20-person crew is completely diversified and includes members of all races, creeds, sex and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

    An on board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

    The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense - but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation, and whatever other worthless jobs, the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.

    It is largely rumored that the ship will also be set for the upcoming season of MTV's "The Real World".

    The ship was renamed and commissioned USS William J Clinton when someone realized the USS Blowfish was already taken.
  2. God bless her and all who go down on her / him

    Also - looking at the photo - I presume the glow in the dark bollard are to warn you not to walk into the plane.............
  3. And let us not forget Hilary and all who go down on her :lol:

  4. Tres amusant mon vieux. I'm sure I won't be the first - but purely in the interests of all colonial friends watching this thread. YES WE KNOW VANCOUVER IS IN CANADA. :roll:
  5. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Can we buy something similar for our own RN please, as the £1bn that it will cost to fund our own carrier looks to be written off?
  6. Touching memorial.

    Are they unaware of the potential of ski-ramps...?
  7. Attached is a photo of one of the RN's latest assault ships

    Attached Files:

  8. Soon to be full of seamen.
  9. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Can I play with the one at the back please???????
  10. This thread is misleading and fictitious. The purported photograph of the vessel is a laughably crude forgery.

    The real USS William J. Clinton is a seagoing brothel and adult bookstore, not an aircraft carrier.
  11. Will Clinton be the first Cockswain? :D
  12. Fcuking hands off! They belong to the Senior Service!!!! :D

    9 years I've been in the bloody navy and this is the first time I've seen two wrens that would get it.

    Yes, I know I can't see one of their faces but beggers can't be choosers!

    She does look familiar though...and I'd put £5 on them being OM(C)'s....
  13. They're RNR, mate!