USS Constitution (Old Ironsides)

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by AlienFTM, May 12, 2011.

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  1. AlienFTM

    AlienFTM LE Book Reviewer

    The USS Constitution (Old Ironsides), as a combat vessel, carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators (i.e. fresh water distillers).
    However, let it be noted that according to her ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the USS Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."
    Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping."
    Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.
    Then she headed for the Azores, arriving 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.
    On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchant ships, salvaging only the rum aboard each.
    By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then she headed home.
    The USS Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky and 38,600 gallons of water .

    Okay. It isn't a joke and it puts the Septics in far too good a light (especially at our own cost), but then it did come to me a from retired senior USN officer. And it did make me laugh.
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