Useful Things the EU Could Do

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by JoeCivvie, Nov 18, 2011.

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  1. We all know that the EU comes out with some stunningly stupid legislation, but what useful stuff could they do?

    Three for openers:

    • A law that all cars have to have indicator stalks and wiper stalks in the same location (i.e. I get fed up with getting into a different car and turn the wipers on when I want to indicate). Manufacturers should agree a format and all stick to it.

    • Tailgates that hinge upwards on small vans should have the tailgate edges painted in fluorescent orange. I'm a tall chap and get fed up nearly slicing the top of my head off on these fecking things whhen some numpty is making a delivery.

    • Ban women from shaving their muffs. (Well, it is the NAAFI...)
  2. Or just bring your intelligence level above that of an amoeba and open your eyes, far easier and more likely to happen.
  3. I am not that keen on bearded whelk.
  4. The most useful thing that the EU could do is disband and reform the Common Market.
    I would like to think that the topics mentioned by Joe were beneath government to bother about, but in the EU's case that is exactly what they concern themselves with instead of sorting out big problems like the currency. Oh. Actually they are doing the same as our government.
    I remember that we changed the indicator switches once to match the Europeans. Perhaps he has a very old car.
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  5. Most useful thing it could do is disband!
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    • Give everyone in the UK a tenner
    • Stop the dutch from being tight with the weed and reallow foreign gits like us to have it if that's our thing
    • Give the Russians some shit so we can see just how up to snuff those T-72's really are...
  6. I think the EU should give me loads of money, I could spunk it against the wall with a touch of drive and panache. I may also think about perhaps one day paying it back.

    If this is a bit to radicle for the EU, they could give me loads of money that I could spunk against the wall with a bit of drive and panache and never pay them back.
  7. They could reopen some of those camps the Germans once had for pikeys!
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  8. The most useful thing the EUSSR could do, is disappear up their own arseholes and take their ridiculous diktats, currency and integration ideas with them.
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  9. Is Mary Hinge your lover?
  10. I think the EU should have a Common Pornography Policy (CPP), particularly with regards its newer members. I'd be happy to volunteer as the Commissioner for Grot. I could have my office in Budapest to keep the rent low.
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  11. I think they should implement a Robin Hood tax, where every banker not dressed as a camp Merry Man gets tied to a tree and fined a fat purse of gold.
    "You mean we can sell insurance on dodgy bonds with no principle to back it and convert the profits into bonuses, don't you get put in the stocks for that?"
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    Send the EU to Zimbabwe or Iran and have them impose endless dictats, legislation and have consultations/white papers all year round, whilst all the time holding a gun to their heads demanding more subs for their slush funds and expense accounts.

    Give it a couple of years and Uncle Bob and The Ayattolah-puppet will flee, begging for mercy.
  13. The EU could ban things that pollute the air we breath and kill people!

    Perhaps they could start with motor vehicles?
  14. I know, they could ban the sale of Leopard tanks and stealth Frog frigates on credit to countries already up in their eyes in debt.