Apparently (there's a good start) somebody in the pub (there's the clincher) said that the fastest man on two feet has had their chain nicked. This brought about a number of issues for me. 1. The validity of the source, someone in the pub said it so its true! its fecking law! 2. He is Jamaican? SHURELY the last thing he'd be precious about is being fucking CHAINED! 3. WTF is he doing off his chain in the first place?????