US Govt Checking For Terrorist Bosom Bombs

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Not_Whistlin_Dixie, Sep 28, 2006.

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  1. The [US Transportation Safety Administration's] changes to the complete liquid ban may require persons with augmented breasts (or other body parts) to comply with further inspections at security checkpoints.

    Excerpts from the TSA bulletin effective Sept 26, 2006:

    In addition to the above changes, the following guidance is provided to ensure the health and welfare of certain air travelers the following items are permitted…

    Items used to augment the body for medical or cosmetic reasons such as mastectomy products, prosthetic breasts, bras or shells containing gels, saline solution, or other liquids...


    http://www.travelgearblog.com/archive/augmented-breasts-will-require-additional-inspection-at-airports.html

    Female passengers Size "D" cup and above and passengers with last names beginning with the letters R through Z may now board the aircraft through Gate 2. We do ask that you refrain from bringing water onto the aircraft that is not securely stored in your bladder, displaying suspicious facial expressions, or conversing in Arabic that might cause you to miss your flight or be shot and thank you for flying Northwest Airlines.
     
  2. oh, oh.. I want the job of checking out the artificially enhanced boobies!!

    Excuse me, madam.. would you mind stepping in here and removing all clothing above the waist? Yes. thank you.. now if you'll just lean forward and wiggle a bit, yes, a little closer to my face..that's it..
     
  3. I fancy a job as a random breast tester, "I'll just have to numb the area madam, numnumnumnumnum".

    retread2
     
  4. I was thinking of joining the US Army, but Homeland Security suddenly sounds like a strangely rewarding career now
     
  5. And is it just coincidence that as I read this there's a google ad at the bottom of the page for cometic breast enhancement? :D :D

    Rocketeer - can I be your understudy please? :wink:
     
  6. In my role as Unit Security Officer I assess this new information regarding 'bosom bombs' to be extremely serious and I will implement procedures immediately. Starting with the buxom, blonde civvy in the next office...