US Armed Forces vs UK Armed Forces

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Forastero, Jan 8, 2017.

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  1. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    There's a right bunfight going on another site whereupon an ex-UK Forces type upset all the septics regarding Trump and got banned for being a bit of a chopper, probably quite rightly. The language and phrases he used are straight out of ARRSE so I'd love to know who he is but his name there isn't one regsitered on here.

    Anyway, it got me thinking. I've worked a fair bit with our colonial cousins over the years and individually I've found them, for the most part, ok to work with but collectively an utter nightmare. They are probably the worst nation I've come across for their pure indoctrination and brainwashedness to the Stars and Stripes such that anything else is worthless and weak. They also hand out medals like bloody confetti. One particularly fat, lazy and ineffectual Lootenant that I worked with was awarded some sort of gong at the end of her tour simply for doing her job, much to the amazement of me and my German and Dutch colleagues the latter of which sniggered openly at the sheer overblown pomposity of the occasion.

    Anyone got any US vs UK dits to share, good or bad?
     
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  2. On a joint warrior a few years back and my fitter truck up to the usual REME standards had more beer than spares on it. The accomodation block had a few US Marines and a few of the Coldstream Guards(parent unit) and we promptly tore into beer. After quite a few somehow the conversation turns to unarmed combat(you can see where this is going), two blokes decide to have a friendly tussle involving the US chap flooring the heroic Guardsman.

    The next day on a fire and maneuver range the marines made it to the second set of targets before they had expended all their ammunition and decide to just fire off a grenade at the bunker they were supposed to clear. Their officer face palmed and they got a bit of a bollocking for their generous use of ammo.
     
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  3. Sixty

    Sixty LE Moderator Book Reviewer
    1. ARRSE Cyclists and Triathletes

    That needs narrowing down quite significantly.
     
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  4. Was it spider giving the big licks about what length you should cut grass at?
     
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  5. Forastero

    Forastero LE Moderator

    I got stuck in Kandahar with a USAF Lt Col (Doris) who had bigger balls than most, top chick as it goes. Anyway, we needed to get back to Kabul sharpish so approached the USAF rep in the terminal who got terribly excited when she asked for a couple of seats as I was a Brit and had no insurance, needs to be cleared by umpteen other USAF types and so on. The scribbler was immovable, she lost her rag with this twat and I swear she was about to lump him when a USMC Lt Col overheard the fracas and asked what the problem was. She gives him the story all the while throwing daggers at the mover whereupon the USMC type basically said **** him, fly with us early doors tomorrow in a C130 (it was late anyway), no problem. Sure enough, we rocked up at 0730 and were flying by 0800 in the jump seats. They fed us endless coffees and doughnuts, hoofing dits and generally a welcoming time and slagged off the USAF endlessly to which my USAF Doris took in good humour. Top blokes.
     
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  6. Whilst stealing cot beds in pristina I went into some sort of ops room and got passed around by about eight of the dozy twats, none of them could understand what I was saying and I had no idea what they were jibbering on about

    Very friendly though and enthusiastic, like sprog Staffordshire bull terriers who have just realised licking their lipstick feels nice

    The cav unit in the doura power station Baghdad I was co-located with utter ******* monkies, when they weren't trying to brass us up outside the wall they were killing puppies with shotguns for fun

    ***** to a man
     
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  7. I remember a young scouse lad from the Cheshire's. attempting to chat up a Yank Doris down in Kuwait at camp Doha on OSD.
    After rattling on for about five minutes he stopped to a bit of a silence.
    I'm sorry she started all I understood was some shits and a lot of fucks.
    I nearly died laughing it was the closest to death I came on the whole tour.
     
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  8. I'm off for a jar now with one of our commonwealth cousin's THEM. I'll ask him what he thinks.
     
  9. I'd steer clear of politics religion and strong lager
     
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  10. I got asked by one once, if "God had sent me", this worried me somewhat.......
     
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  11. Yank: 'Why are we in a ****ing truck?'

    Me: 'It's not a truck, it's a waggon - and for the purpose of this exercise it's a helicopter!'

    Yank: [silence]... 'it's gonna take, like, frickkin' hours man!'

    Me: 'Yessiree Bob!'
     
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  12. OK I'll stick to the Whisky @Gimp.
     
  13. Again at Doha yank spots our uniforms and asks what the flag is.
    We explain we're British hence the Union Flag and we are members of the Household Division that's what the Blue, Red, Blue means.
    Clearly confused one of the lads attempts to explain that when you see HM Queen on t.v. the blokes alongside her are part of the Household Division and that's who we are.
    Bloke turns to his mates and explains that we are the Queen of England's bodyguards.

    They awarded us some oo rah's due to our special status
     
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  14. Could've been worse. Try explaining the AGC!
     
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  15. ... or puttees! [The poor bastard ended up with a history lesson.]
     
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