Urinal Etiquette

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Corporal, Jan 14, 2005.

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  1. Stopped by the bog for my post lunch lag today, and noticed the place was empty. I made for the last urinal, farthest from the door, and proceeded to etch my name in porcelain.

    Just as I start, in walks another bloke, who has the choice of the other 5 empty urinals to choose from. Which one does he pick, you ask?

    The one right next to me!

    I'm not homophobic or anything, but please, a little space to do ones business. :roll:
  2. You exude gayness corp, everyone know your a c0cksucker, even when you try to pawn your c0ck breath off as halatosis.

    So did you drop to your knees and give him a good rogering 8O
  3. Correct etiquette is to fill up every other urinal. Then, subsequent users have the option of the stalls, or to fill up the remainders without shame.

    This guy you're talking about, corps, did he look at your willy????? :lol:
  4. When it happens to me I just make sure I shake it extra hard and try and make the drips splash over his hands, it seems to have worked so far!
  5. Upon further inspection, I realized ther bloke standing next to me was really Mrs. Ctauch, so I gave her a good shoeing and left. :wink:

    This has happened once again since my original posting, with a different guy. Why am I blessed with such great looks? :D
  6. Maybe you just look like a complete pinch of snuff... 8O
  7. Ah yes...In an effort to restore marital bliss I have trained the missus to urinate standing up. To aid in this effort I have purchased a life time supply of magic cones for her, was her x-mas present last year.

    The ctauch household now is blissful, no more nagging that the toilet seat is up.
  8. PMSL!!!

    I salute you, sir!
  9. RTFQ


    As an aside - Ladyboys. How do they do the whole urinal thing? If they've got their sunday lunch strapped up between the legs with Mr Winky pointing backwards, do they have to p1ss with their back facing the urinal? Imagine the fear if you walked in and saw three blokes in dresses and make up backing into a urinal and swamping from what looks like their arrse.

    I wsn't sat here thinking about ladyboys, honest. It just came up in conversation in the bar last night after a few (ie lots of) beers
  10. No Corps you just have to stop staring at their todgers, winking at them and licking your lips provocatively :roll:

    Either that or use a garden hose sprinkler so you can simultaneously pish in all 5 urinals. They stay well away then :wink: