Not really but thought since over eighty-one thousand people have opinions on those two threads then I could get a bit of the action. i'm not knocking anybody or any threads but you have to wonder what the attraction is. I can see it with Urban Myths, heard a few myself but apart from gunting a reply to somebody grunting a question at RAF Guetersloh, I have never had any dealings whatsoever with the RAF Police. Sorry that's wrong. Yes I know here he goes, well there's always the proper threads, I don't care, eighty-one thousand can't be wrong, well maybe sisty-eight thousand but they can't all be wrong. I had the dubious pleasure of accompanying 652 Sqn AAC on their jaunt down south. So a trip in a luxury army coach driven by Wolfgang to RAF Guetersloh. Might have seen an RAF Copper then, can't remember, I thought they only came out during the day, it was night, I was tired, tell a lie, I was pished. Onto a luxury Crab Air VC10 with seats actually fixed to the floor, went for a couple of jaunts (with seat) on the way to Canada so relieved to see them firmly locked to the floor. Arrived Ascension Island and was relieved to be given permission to roll up sleeves. Felt sorry for the crabs in their shorts by Man at C&A and matching blousons, they looked horribly brown and tanned and healthy. We were rufty-tufty army on our way down to a war zone and what's a little sweat for a bunch of trained killers but at least our arms got a bit brown. We were shepherded by one of the crabcoats to our accommodation, a lovely tent with south facing flap and north facing flap for those who didn't want the sun all day. The room (?), sorry the tent had beds and lizards but the lizards got it on the sheer amount of them. We asked the crabcoat that since this accommodation was taken, wasn't there something else such as stone built or brick built as we were sure he didn't live in fcuking tent doing his camp duties. There was no other accommodation so we ejected the lizards out of the south flap but they just came in anywhere and everywhere. So forgetting the lizards for just a second we made ourselves at home which involved rolling out your maggot and then having to tell the lizard to fcuk off as it was crawling into your maggot. Lizards were usually flicked onto the next bed which meant that at either end, the bed was crawling with them This done and feeling perfectly at home we realised that life was becoming bearable so this must been that we werte sobering up so the hunt for a top up building was started. The NAAFI was quite impressive with all the things you would expect in a NAAFI though no vomit which was a surprise. There were units going down to the Falklands and units on their way back and the crabcoats who ran the transit camp. We were not going to be outdone even if we were on our way to the Falklands. Our empty can mountain stood supreme over all and sundry and even the crabcoats were impressed but they were drinking creme de menthe so couldn't really join in. We outsung, outdrank all and sundry and created quite an impression which meant there was vomit there after all. We were even joined by some civvy contractors, it was like Auf Widersehen Pet meets Soldier Soldier only we were real soldiers (?) pished but real. The evening drew to a close the the crabcoats left to be first in the queue for the hair dryer, even those going home left and headed for their beds and their lizards. A NAAFI thing, sex unknown or undetermined asked us to leave but the civvies had more beer so we helped them drink it and told the NAAFI object to fcuk off. This had not gone down well as two white hatted policemen with one dog without white hat arrived on the scene. We told them to fcuk off as well while one of civvies stroked the dog which had looked fierce but was a big softy much to it's handler's annoyance. The white hatted gentlemen tried pyschology and appealing to our better natures and think about the unit which set them back a good half hour but we were slowly coming round. One of the civvies looked at his watch and decided it was time for a fight so launched into one of the white hatted gentlemen. The dog lay there quite wisely not wanting to get involved and we did the same. The civvy had another look at his watch and decided the time for fighting was over and joined us as turned over tables and chairs on our way out. We wobbled our way back to our five star tent and tried to find our beds. I apologized twice to a lizard because I thought I was in the wrong bed but it wasnt. We drifted off into a drunken stupor and hoped we would have time for some sleep in the morning. The following morning, we woke, the light was too bright, the breakfast was inedible, it was actually quite nice but in our states anything was inedible. The lizards looked remarkably healthy, smug bastaaads but we were not. In the distance we could see the NAAFI being straightened, somebody shouted "We'll be back" and we started on the trip down south proper but that's yet another story. Please excuse and typing errors or bad spelling or grammar, i'm not ignorant or not much but my typing skills are average at best and total shite at worst. I apologize if I've got you here under false pretences, still it could be worse, somebody's thread about NAAFI ashtrays through the ages or sole impressions of army boots since WWII.