Up two three, downshift two three!

Discussion in 'Jobs (Discussion)' started by Cuddles, May 24, 2005.

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  1. After a reasonably satisfactory military career, years of defence industry management experience and two years as a director of a FTSE100 company, I jacked it all in to become a window cleaner two years ago.

    Have any other officers made the switch from jack-pudding/"suit" to manual labour? It has been the rejuvenation of me, with weight loss, energy boost and more control over my life-style than I ever thought I could possibly regain. I had every Wednesday off last season for shooting for example - although to be fair I had every day off when I was shooting in SAAMs in the Army!!

    The money's pretty reasonable too although that has never been the issue.

    If anyone wants their windows cleaned by a Lt Col, then now's your chance!! I won't travel though and nothing kinky like mullions okay??

    :D :D :D :D :D
  2. That sounds suspiciously like an attempt for some Robin Askwith/Confessions of a Window Cleaner shenanigans....
  3. If I told you half the things that happen to me when I'm cleaning windows, well...you would rip your own head off in boredom. Mostly we just clean the windows and fcuk off.

    Some pretty low grade flirting with the sort of girl that usually features on the NAAFI pages does take place and occasionally a too rich, too bored housewife stays to watch you drink the coffee she insisted you wanted but can't be arsed. We do clean the windows of a lesbian pub though and the first time we did it with an extending pole system at 0600, the tap on the windows of the first floor caused the curtains to fly apart. Two curious topless lesbionics stared down at the window cleaners staring up...I'm not entirely sure who was most surprised!!
  4. Interesting.

    How often do windows get cleaned nowadays then and for how much? What is a good sized 'turf' and are there any downsides?

    Used to be once a week when I was a lad but sure it is less now.

    Nowhere near Gloucestershire by the way. Mrs M was bemoaning the need for a good Instrument Tech, erm, window cleaner just the other day and you have stirred something deep down a la Murielson.
  5. (1) It varies of course, but a residential property usually goes for a monthly clean, a big commercial job will be rolling quarterly cleans and a retail outlet likes it done two to five times a week...prices vary depending on whether it is a machine or manual clean, numbers of grunts on the ground et cetera. We usually work out the costs starting at "£1 a window" then check it back from the other end. Bizarrely it uusually tallies up...

    (2)My "turf" is non-exclusive and there are perhaps 100 window cleaners in the Bath district. Some are one man and a bucket turning over £20-30k, paying little or no tax and without insurance. Up at the other end you can earn 100ks but that brings with it the need to feed the commercial beast, hire and fire, manage, get marketed...we're up at that end and turn over about £400k as a business but only about 100k is windows, the rest is wholesale janitorial and distribution, commercial cleaning and odds and sods (e.g. Facilities management)

    (3)That is very sweet of la Murielson...however Mrs Cuddles is a very jealous, nay violent Irishwoman of the aggressive persuasion so I will let that be our little secret. If you do find a window cleaner insist he comes when you or she are in and that he does all of the upstairs windows. Offer him clean water when he arives but only after he has told you how many houses he has done today! Personally I never leave home without at least 1000 litres of ionised, heated water in the van...

    As you can see, any civvy can clean a window but it takes a Gunner officer to turn it into a fine art...
  6. Cheers Cuddles. Food for thought there.
  7. You're no window cleaner. You're a .......... Facilities Manager!
    Lowest of the low. Pah.
  8. Blessed are those who Unger after righteousness...FM is low margin, windows fcuking terrific margin...