Up to my nuts in fat birds Again!!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Achmed, Dec 4, 2007.

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  1. I have been resisting shagging fat birds for about two years now, until last week, there she was all of 20 stone of her, she was on my case she was quite good looking for a fatty, huge tits, long hair, scots.......come up to my hotel room she says, bars closing, i have a nice bottle of wine chilling...she says, i wandered out of her hotel room about 0530hrs after giving her a good seeing to.

    Trouble is i cant keep my eyes or hands the fat ones now.... I am addicted to shagging fat birds, are there any organisations to help, if not are there any "members" with the same problem 8O
  2. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Every time I see a fat bint, I give her a surrepticious BO sniff, and then calculate how easy it would be to 'get in there'. It's a mental sport, but I don't know how far I am from turning it into a physical one.

    I've had a few fat bints before, and they are as keen as mustard for sex, which I am too (anything with a pulse), whereas your thin model-types tend to keep you waiting and play your desperation to get things like MARRIAGE, HOUSE, CAR, MONEY, DEATH OR DIVORCE.

    Should I seek help?
  3. Nowt wronf with a fat bird, just don't let your mates see her.......................................or video it all and put it of a BBW site
  4. Biped..no you lucky bugger
  5. ahem

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  6. how very true. Theyre a bit grabby though, they bombard you with texts, phone calls, I even had a pie fancier turn up at my door a few days after. But I threw a lb of ham out into the street and she scurried off.
  7. :cry: You promised you wouldn't mention our liaison Achmed. :twisted:

    Seriously though 20 stone is a big, big girl. Glad you lived to tell the tale.

  8. Weight watchers???

    although, actually, it could be a rather good trapping ground... (pops off to WW site to find local meeting)
  9. The best ones to get are the ones who think they're overweight and therefore unattractive, when in reality, they're actually quite attractive.

    This way, you get to have some of the pros of the fat bird (grateful for sex and attention, thinks you're great etc.) but none of the cons (oxygen deprivation, crumbs forced into your body etc.).

    It's a win-win situation! :lol:
  10. slimmers world's what you need...younger clientele 8O
  11. Mrs Taz makes a point of telling all her male work collegues who have been 'Dear John'd' to go out and shag a fat bird (and no, she's not fat herself) to restore some sense of self - worth. Apparently works a treat.

    Mind you, it was my fault - i'd had a bit of a relationship drama while on pre-tour training. Went out and shagged the largest bird I could find in Bonkers Nightclub in Folkestone. Realised that I had fully hit rock bottom and the only way was up.

    Once i'd scrubbed the smell of minge off my face, the world seemed much rosier. Just worked my way up from progressively less fat birds until I met the svelte Mrs.Taz.
  12. I dream of getting a fat bird....or any bird for that matter. I miss bedding the mingers no-one else would...sigh! Damn this growing up lark
  13. That sounds sad Mac. You're not after a sympathy shag are you? :twisted: :p
  14. good plan, low self esteem as well. Dont go in eating a big mac though.
  15. No matter how hard I try to pull the fat bird, I always end up with her good looking skiny mate who's never done anal, but will give it a go 'just this once' to see if she likes it or not!

    It's a tuff cross to bear...