Up the stick

#1
Contrary to popular belief, no I am fucking not.

I am just fat and ate bread.
 
#3
I heard that - outside, now! :threaten:
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
#5
Sluggy, I hear what you say (or for the pedants, I read what you write). So who's the daddy? Or will YIM be auctioning the title?
 
#6
(crap Glaswegian accent) He called me a poof, too! ^_~
 
#8
This is unacceptable behaviour in modern society.

Almost on a par with torturing spazzos and getting away with it on the other thread.

No doubt the pox will take him shortly, natural justice I say
 
#9
Poor old Sluggy. Do you want me to write to the Director of The South Atlantic Chilean Fishing Fleet to see if we can't locate the father, or at least whittle it down to a dozen or so?

To be fair though, I did advise against favours for sailors in Deanos latrines.
 
#10
Contrary to popular belief, no I am fucking not.

I am just fat and ate bread.
Any foetus inside you would have impossible survival rate odds, on account of the fact that it would drown in the bucketloads of stale jizz still pooled inside you. If by some miracle it had access to some scuba gear it may just live to see it's 2nd trimester, although it would still probably disolve into nothing thanks to inadvertantly mainlining Strongbow through the umbilical cord.
 
#11
Time to consider some names...

You could follow the trend of naming the child after the place of conception (like the notable Brooklyn, Preston, Chelsea, etc.) How about "Ubique"?

Or after the father? Ric, perhaps?
 
#12
Reminds me... Did they ever find that Service Dog that went missing?
 

maguire

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
Time to consider some names...

You could follow the trend of naming the child after the place of conception (like the notable Brooklyn, Preston, Chelsea, etc.) How about "Ubique"?

Or after the father? Ric, perhaps?
be fair... 'the back seat of a C-130' would be a hell of a name to hang on a kid. ;)
 
#15
be fair... 'the back seat of a C-130' would be a hell of a name to hang on a kid. ;)
Actually, a 1 PARA officer did shag a journo in the toilet bit of a C130 at the end of an exercise in the States. Yes, you've probably never seen a toilet on a C130, but because the crabs had a female on the plane they erected what looked like a shower curtain aroun a urinal next to the tailgate. Would have been good if it had been a fivesome because the loadmaster could have said to the pilot "Up 800, 4 men jumping." Still, I'd be chuffed if I was called Hercules (as long as the story of the conception didn't get out). Better than C130 or Balloon.

And a guy in 2 PARA named his daughter Dakota (the plane not the place). Sad.
 
#18
Hang on ... this could be a Falklands thing. I've just noticed my belly's looking quite swollen since I got back. Best get me arse down to Boots tomorrow.
 
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