Up the stick

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by The_Snail, Oct 17, 2010.

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  1. Contrary to popular belief, no I am fucking not.

    I am just fat and ate bread.
  2. Who would be stupid enough to stick their cock inside you anyway!
  3. I heard that - outside, now! :threaten:
  4. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    what, you heard the rumour or you heard what Albert said?? :|
  5. Sluggy, I hear what you say (or for the pedants, I read what you write). So who's the daddy? Or will YIM be auctioning the title?
  6. (crap Glaswegian accent) He called me a poof, too! ^_~
  7. Who's the Daddy?

  8. This is unacceptable behaviour in modern society.

    Almost on a par with torturing spazzos and getting away with it on the other thread.

    No doubt the pox will take him shortly, natural justice I say
  9. Poor old Sluggy. Do you want me to write to the Director of The South Atlantic Chilean Fishing Fleet to see if we can't locate the father, or at least whittle it down to a dozen or so?

    To be fair though, I did advise against favours for sailors in Deanos latrines.
  10. Any foetus inside you would have impossible survival rate odds, on account of the fact that it would drown in the bucketloads of stale jizz still pooled inside you. If by some miracle it had access to some scuba gear it may just live to see it's 2nd trimester, although it would still probably disolve into nothing thanks to inadvertantly mainlining Strongbow through the umbilical cord.
  11. Time to consider some names...

    You could follow the trend of naming the child after the place of conception (like the notable Brooklyn, Preston, Chelsea, etc.) How about "Ubique"?

    Or after the father? Ric, perhaps?
  12. Reminds me... Did they ever find that Service Dog that went missing?
  13. maguire

    maguire LE Book Reviewer

    be fair... 'the back seat of a C-130' would be a hell of a name to hang on a kid. ;)
  14. Stanley's a nice name.
  15. Actually, a 1 PARA officer did shag a journo in the toilet bit of a C130 at the end of an exercise in the States. Yes, you've probably never seen a toilet on a C130, but because the crabs had a female on the plane they erected what looked like a shower curtain aroun a urinal next to the tailgate. Would have been good if it had been a fivesome because the loadmaster could have said to the pilot "Up 800, 4 men jumping." Still, I'd be chuffed if I was called Hercules (as long as the story of the conception didn't get out). Better than C130 or Balloon.

    And a guy in 2 PARA named his daughter Dakota (the plane not the place). Sad.