Unusual introductions

#1
I was getting dried off this morning in the gym after my shower, when I noticed an older gent sitting in the corner, staring. Now I’m not a kid and have been in public (even mixed, in Bos with the Dutch) showers before. But this old fella was disturbing me, I was thinking of moving to a different part when he spoke, before I tell you what he said just let me tell you my avatar is not far from the truth.

He said “You should the Rome marathon with me?”
Not Hello or how are you or even a ciao :? :?

Got me thinking
What’s the most Unusual first sentence you’ve heard, and I know you’ve all done me mam, wife and sisters, and they all said no, no please stop etc.
 
#2
I was once asked "Havent't I come across your face before?"

To which I replied, "No sorry, nobody has come anywhere NEAR my face before"

That was an odd day, just random summer day while out shopping. Turns out he was at a disco my wife was DJ-ing for............
 
#5
Mate in Basic a few years back on Icebreaker:

"Why does Noddy drive a red and yellow car? Because he is a cnut."

Sits down, everyone in a state of confusion, thinking "Did he just say cnut in front of the Platoon Commander?!"
 
#6
vvaannmmaann said:
Maybe "Doing the Roman Marathon" is a euphamism for some man loving sort of thing?
God I hope not cos my pointing at my man boobs and saying "what with these" might have been misunderstood!
 
#7
oh oh oh another one....

"Dave!, Dave!, Dave!, Dave!, DAAAAVE!, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Got closer, "Your not Dave are you??"

me "errr no?"

Odd chap "Have you seen him?"

Me (confused as hell now) "Errr I think he went round that corner "
 
#9
I was at a house party years ago and got introduced to a lass called Sally. Her opening line was "Hi I'm Sally. I'm very drunk..... I love being naughty, do you want to be naughty with me?" followed by a drunkenly suggestive wink.

I had never been propositioned by a complete stranger before especially one that looked like a beachball that had been squeezed into a mini skirt and boob tube.
She spent the rest of the night throwing her self at any one with a penis.




Names have been changed to protect the fat and ugly.
 
#10
LordVonHarley said:
I was at a house party years ago and got introduced to a lass called Sally. Her opening line was "Hi I'm Sally. I'm very drunk..... I love being naughty, do you want to be naughty with me?" followed by a drunkenly suggestive wink.

I had never been propositioned by a complete stranger before especially one that looked like a beachball that had been squeezed into a mini skirt and boob tube.
She spent the rest of the night throwing her self at any one with a penis.




Names have been changed to protect the fat and ugly.
Got her number? 8)
 
#11
davyskuller said:
Not stolen from Allan Partridge Soggyllama?! ;)
Sorry Cant stand the guy. I find him SO annoying and unfunny. I guess something similar happened on there then? :oops: Maybe 'Odd Bloke' saw it though?? Who knows. It was about 2/3 years ago in our local Shopping Center
 
#12
Soggyllama said:
davyskuller said:
Not stolen from Allan Partridge Soggyllama?! ;)
Sorry Cant stand the guy. I find him SO annoying and unfunny. I guess something similar happened on there then? :oops: Maybe 'Odd Bloke' saw it though?? Who knows. It was about 2/3 years ago in our local Shopping Center
Lets not dwell on it, never let the truth get in the way of a good story, I havent seen the episode so thought it was funny. And nearly spat coffee etc etc etc....
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#13
In a bar a few weeks ago. Some random bloke walked up to me. "Nice tits" he said. And then walked off.
 
#14
hallveg said:
Soggyllama said:
davyskuller said:
Not stolen from Allan Partridge Soggyllama?! ;)
Sorry Cant stand the guy. I find him SO annoying and unfunny. I guess something similar happened on there then? :oops: Maybe 'Odd Bloke' saw it though?? Who knows. It was about 2/3 years ago in our local Shopping Center
Lets not dwell on it, never let the truth get in the way of a good story, I havent seen the episode so thought it was funny. And nearly spat coffee etc etc etc....
I suppose it's a bit dusty etc.?
 
#15
Legs said:
In a bar a few weeks ago. Some random bloke walked up to me. "Nice tits" he said. And then walked off.
You really should keep your top on, when drinking in public....





....unless you were in one of those bars!
Did he shove a fiver in your g-string!
 
#17
Legs said:
In a bar a few weeks ago. Some random bloke walked up to me. "Nice tits" he said. And then walked off.
Christ it was you! Sorry, I was a bit p!ssed...
 
#19
Legs said:
In a bar a few weeks ago. Some random bloke walked up to me. "Nice tits" he said. And then walked off.
Same thing happend to me!
 
#20
These are the standard ones that have always ended up with me getting sha*ged senseless

"I'm really drunk..."

"Hi, I'm a nurse"

..... but the worst I've heard are "Do you like puppies?" or "I've got some sweeties in the car." and "Don't be scared"
 
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