I'd love to see twats like this appearing on some reality TV show where they think they'll be living on some tropical paradise off Oz.
Except it's a cunningly contrived IQ test, and salt water crocodiles are involved.
The local eye candy is imported from some original residents krall and will play a fully interactive part in the shenanigans:
" So Marcus, shag the Abo bag lady and win free school meals for Sheppey and Minster. Turn her down and Katie Price gets fed to the crocs, what's it gonna be bonny lad?"
"Can't I do both, Ant? Or is it Dec?"