Unexpected Shags

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by B_AND_T, Jun 19, 2009.

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  1. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    A few years ago I was involved in a TV programme for a local TV station (programme was eventually sold to The History Channel, did I get any repeat royalties? Did I fuck). I had to do my bit in Uniform so I turned up at the location on the Friday night to meet the production staff and my co star.

    Fcuk me was she good looking, tall, slim, naturally blonde and a perfect pair of chebs. This appraisal took place in seconds with the conclusion that, yes she was fit but I stood no chance.

    Once we had spent a couple of hours discussing the weekends events, time to leave. Being a nice chap, as she was a poor student, I offered to give her a lift home, if nothing else I thought that sitting next to her for half an hour would keep my wank bank well in credit. Half way back and enjoying our conversation, she breaks off from that and says "Well, are you coming back to my place"

    One nanosecond of thought later I agree to the proposition. One Off Licence and a shower later I'm up to my nuts in guts.

    What a fantastic weekend that turned out to be. Made a TV star, free smokes, £100.00 wages and copious amounts of no commitment shagging.

    Anyone else had an unexpected shag?
  2. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    What like this one?:


    But then I suppose that would have been expected anyway!!!

    My Overcoat? Why thank you, and a conveyance as well? How kind!
  3. Any shag I get is unexpected, welcomed obviously, but unexpected
  4. I thought this was going to be about birdwatching!


    But... I once did the door at a London Magistrates court Xmas party and got offered a shag from a very drunk and spectactularly ugly fat WPC who was there. On seeing my reluctance (I had standards in those days) She tried to bribe me with an offer of a blow-job in the khazi.

    A dismal, dismal shag ensued. :(

    As an experience, not quite up there with yours eh B_AND_T? :wink:

    edited to thank Gremlin for the fine example of Phalacrocorax aristotelis in his post.
  5. What wings are you claiming for her?
  6. Do they do lard coloured ones?
  7. None that I remember 8O
  8. Pity. the old "Dust her with flour and fcuk the wet bits" routine summed up the whole experience.

    Yep. Lard coloured wings it must be.
  9. Gloucester and Warwick - same person! :)
  10. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    So how does that count as unexpected the second time then? Unless you were on National Express Intercity of course!

    More details required here I think!
  11. At least name the programme.
  12. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Oh yea good idea!! It was called T............. Not such a good idea, Persec and all that. My episode was the only one that featured a uniform.
  13. So we only have your word that this bird was fit.

    I reckon you did indeed get a shag, but the co star was Amy Lamé.
  14. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Nope, she was drop dead gorgeous. I even got a semi typing that.

    Oh the memories.
  15. Pob02

    Pob02 War Hero Book Reviewer

    I reckon the co-star was Dale Winton . . . .

    Dale : "Surprise!"
    B&T : " Ow my Arrse! "