Underwater Knife Fighting Course - manual released!

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by Troy, Nov 13, 2012.

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  1. As many of the Old and Bold will know, the Underwater Knife Fighting Course has a long history...

    However knowledge of this "hardly-ever-spoken-about-except-in-hushed-wispers" course is about to be made public with the release this month of the training manual.


    So stand by to field enquirys about how to get on the UKFC, and be alert for walts.

    If we have surplus lerts, then stand by to be aloof...
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  2. Pah, completed mine Nov '79 in Peter's Pool.
    I have my Anti frostbite inoculation stamp and Flame Thrower course selection certificate as well.
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  3. Got anything on underwater rhubarb thrashing, I did the SpecQual at RNAS Twatt. But lost me cap badge and certifacate, on a train.

  4. I've got all the course vu-foils if you want.

    Including the amendment concerning 'underwater mess tin repairs'
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  5. Sighhhh!!! Brings back memories!
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  6. I did mine in the A.T.C. as part of the RAF swimming proficiency test.

    The parts of the course I fondly remember are;

    a) Treading water in woollen swim pants with inadequate snake belt.
    b) Removing scuff marks from poolside caused by black rubber flippers.
    c) Speargun N.S.P.'s on exiting pool via ladder while holding up woollen swim pants with one hand.
    d) Foolishly trusting vulcanised canvas - in any form.
    e) Blanco-ing the snorkel's ping pong ball and boiling the black rubber of the face mask to get a tighter seal. No pun intended.

    Them were the days.
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  7. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    I did the underwater jap slapping program but the knife fighting and throwing courses were full.
  8. I wouldn't mind doing that, would I be able to get stab proof water wings?
  9. I envy you all. I was a lowly Sloppo turned Sapper, did my AACC and was duly selected for the UWKF winter 79' intake.
    Imagine my disbelief when I discovered my ex sloppo comrade "Spud Basher" was also on the same intake. We never liked eachother in the kitchens, now we were to face one another in the cold waters of P**le, armed only with a Fileting knife and the new improved "Patent German V-veggie Slicer".
    To cut a long story short, Spud caught me on my pressure-valve with a hefty " out of the elbow" de-scaling movement, his QVC Fish knife honed sharp enough to detach the pressure-valve from my bottle. I tried to cull the loss of oxygen escaping by cupping my hands over the broken bottle thread, but the air passed thru the creases in my 18 Ounze Milling gloves.
    My dreams of swimming with dolphins ended that day. Spud went on to become the bloke who stole potatoes with Chris Ryan in a bodged E&E Ex in Mestopotamia.

    "You re only as sharp as your knife", I was once told by Lefty, how right he was.....
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  10. Dammit Nimbus, you know we are all sworn to secrecy...

    I did mine in '84, and passed the Guided Missile Pilot's course a year later.
  11. Don't forget to include the amendment covering the UWSDFRU course (underwater search dog flipper recovery unit). Renowned as a nailz course, I applied for mine at Fort George many years ago.
  12. This is the knife presented to whoever passes the course with the highest marks

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  13. I was told that the UMTR (Mess tin repair) was a prerequisite for the main course which is of course the only reason I never bothered applying, I mean who wants to spend all that time learning all that theory and all those amendments to procedures along with some hundereds of hours of breath holding drills just to be told the main course is oversubscribed.

    I would've been awesome at it as well, even had my own plastic whistle and everything.
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  14. I got a bronze in underwater individual synchronised formation swimming, does that count?.
  15. Wanking underwater is much more fun. Seeing ladies in the shallow end trying to pick it out of their hair is hilarious.
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