Under the bed.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by bossyboots, Jul 21, 2009.

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  1. I've never dared venture under it

    0 vote(s)
  2. A dead ex

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  3. Several small dead rodents

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  4. Several small live rodents

    0 vote(s)
  5. Lots of porn mags, vids etc

    0 vote(s)
  6. Lots of useless crap that really needs housing in a bin

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  7. Several used durex, cups and lots of mouldy dust

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  1. Today i decided to give the underneath of my bed a damned good fettling.
    I couldn't believe after hoovering several inches of dust away that i came across.......
    Several coins.
    4 odd earrings i had given up as lost.
    Several books.
    3 suitcases crammed with holiday crap.
    1 pair of curtains.
    1 pair of candlestick holders.
    A clock.
    1 empty shoebox.
    1 pair of broken hair straighteners.
    1 screwdriver.
    1 drill bit
    1 broken video player
    1 broken dvd player.
    2 scart type leads.
    1 cup with enough mould to treat the entire street with penicillin.

    Then i got thinking......wonder that others find under their beds?

    The arrser formerly known as MDN.....a collection of gimp suits
    PTP....the entire encyclopedia of military history
    TLF....books detailing the perfect murder and how to get away with it of Chubb
    FiveAlpha.....several dead civvies
    Slug........several empty vodka bottles and fag packets.

    So, what do you have under your bed?? :lol:
  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    My special sock.
  3. I really hope you're a burd with that carp under your bed. Mind you noting the tools it probably doesn't matter. :p
  4. Maddie.

    Actually there's fuck all under mine at the moment.
    I broke the bed a few weeks ago, & being a lazy cunt I haven't fixed it yet.
    So the mattress is just on the floor.
  5. Never found a carp markintime....however, next time..... :lol:
  6. I've had a looksee.........
    2 x tool boxes
    1 x socket set
    1 x Black & decker drill
    2 x empty wine bottles
    numerous pairs of shoes
    2 x umbrellas ( golfing)
    dust , dust and more bloody dust
    a set of 2 way radios plus charger :?
    2 x fishing rods
  7. I found...

    A partri-idge in a pear tree!
  8. Biped

    Biped LE Book Reviewer

    Well, when I was spring-cleaning my rooms over the weekend, with my feather duster and of course my handy apron on, I dared, lols, DARED to look under my bed and WHAT did I find?

    Let me tell you!

    2 x floral throws (very chintzy, but who cares if it's cold or you've got guests right?)
    1 x Bedpan in case the MIL comes and visits.
    1 x vase that contained the geraniums that I liked to keep on my window ledge last summer to make the place a little warmer and friendlier, and of course, add a good dose of colour too.
    1 x floral throw-on from that parade that Joshua (lovely man) and I went on a few weeks ago - we got back, and well, I just threw it under the bed lolz.
    1 x 8" two-way black mamba dildo from when me and josh attempted to pretend we were lesbians - went horribly, horribly wrong, I can tell you know - I forgot we'd had a vindaloo the night before.

    Edited to add: Has it really come to this? A 'What's under your bed' thread?
  9. Nothing under mine, and if I ever find things under there I will sack the cleaning staff immediately.
  10. Just young Maddie

  11. Walting cunt. She's under my bed.
  12. Ditto! Bloody Flippers (not the dolphin type!).
  13. Only because I moved her there before I grassed you up to the police.
    Can you hear the sirens yet?
  14. Quite... I think that point was made clear in the original post :roll:
  15. I must be odd, all there is under mine is a large maglite and a Gerber Mk 1