My oldest mate brought his other half up to stay en route to Alton Towers with her son. He is educated, polite, handsome, easygoing, good company and a generally all round nice chap. She is fat, ugly, stupid, bigoted, bolshie and it becomes apparent, A SOCIALIST! Not just any socialist, the sort that used to sell "Socialist Worker" (is it still going?), has an utter hatred of anything rural or traditional, thinks the Government is doing a good job, hates the armed forces.... Needless to say we ended up falling out. It actually takes quite a bit to make me lose my rag but she managed it. She then had him leave in the early hours despite the fact that he'd been drinking. Poor henpecked soul. I'm f'kin fuming that this creature has come between me and my mate, a friend I've known for twenty years. Anyway, what can I do to purge the house of the bad aftertaste of having had a rabid socialist in it?