Unbelievably sick jokes

Velcome to zer house of fun Ricardian. Life on the island treating you well?


What do you call a man with an incredibly small penis? Justin. Left my coat at home...


That's so kind. My ex used to call me Donkey Dong, which was quite embarrassing, especially in front of clergy...


She told me it was Donky DUNG on account of your reamed **** orifice. She also said thanks for the house by the way.
House??? It was a mansioun almost as big as her mother's pissflaps...before you ask, I was invited once but when she saw the tripod she said Have my daughter, so I did.....and look at me now...


Sorry, class Ciggie moment..I meant to say something, I did, totally meaningless...the day I wake up and understand what I said the night before is the day I reach for Hermann's Luger
Paddy and Murphy fancy a Pint but only have a euro between them. Paddy goes off and buys a sausage.

Murphy says are You mad?

Now we're skint! Come on says Paddy follow Me.

They go into the pub order two pints and drink them before they pay. Paddy shoves the Sausage through the zipper of his Jeans and tells Murphy to get down on his Knee's and suck it.

The Barman goes berserk and throws them out.
10 pubs and 10 pints later Murphy says..
'I cant do this any more, my Knees are sore and I'm pissed.

How do you think I feel? Says Paddy, I can't even remember which Pub I lost the Sausage in!?


Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.