Unable to sleep

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Cuddles, Apr 19, 2010.

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  1. I was awoken by street noises at quarter to four. The brothels chucking out, recycling and gash lorries etc. So I sat at my litle desk and played some computer games, checked NATS web-site and Arrse-d around generally.

    I looked out of the window and my eye was atttracted by a lit but uncurtained window across the street. There lying on her bed was a young lady - in I would say her thirties. She wore black briefs but no top and she was obviously unable to sleep. In fact I detected from the way she was moving that she was enjoying a leisurely flick at her biffer.

    Now I should have done the decent thing and looked away. However I must confess I merely sat with my tongue stuck to the window, taking it all in. She then turned the light out and went to sleep.

    She had huge melons.

    Am I turning into some kind of a filthy disgusting pervert?
  2. No, you're just a perfectly normal(ish) bloke, stuck somewhere other than where he'd rather be.

    Something to look forward-to, tomorrow morning.
  3. No, you're not a pervert. You just need to learn that this was a particularly vivid dream, and you were fast asleep after all.
  4. I wish Legs, I wish but I've got a head cold, ate late last night and a stupid German pillo...she is now hanging out her window having a tab. I can now see her face more clearly and without the erm...mood lighting of earlier on, she is frankly quite rough. She also has been staring into my window but I cunningly got dressed in the bathroom, leaving her unsatisfied if her aim was to see prime cuddles-flesh, rather than just looking into the middle difference!
  5. Command_doh

    Command_doh LE Book Reviewer

    Were you touching yourself in a rythmic motion before the first post?
  6. Face away from window, drop strides, bend over, part cheeks.

    That should give her something to mull over as she has her breakfast.
  7. Sounds to me that you have taken your first tentative steps on the road to Stalkersville Cuddles.

    Won't be long before you are standing on the doorstep of some celebrity and callously gunning them down!!

    Welcome to MY world!!! :D
  8. and you didnt take the time to get your camera out.. call yourself a potential pervert ??? Failed... miserably... more effort needed young Cuddles...
  9. Classic FSB honeytrap. From another window they will have been monitoring your retinal movements and, knowing exactly what you were thinking as you oggled yon honey, they can now read your mind. Disguise yourself and leave immediately.
  10. I've been trying to leave since Thursday!
  11. Return the delight.
    Keep an eye out and once you've satisfied that she's still awake and possibly on her twelth Camel leaning out of the window, start banging one out on the bed with the curtains just open enough so she can see all your one-handed shenanigans in all it's glory.
    This may lead to something special. Or maybe a 10yr habit of signing 'that' register at the local nick.
  12. Get to the bottom of the pervert class I am afraid unless you managed to get the camera out and take some pictures, purely for research purposes
  13. I am sure there is something missing from that tale.

    That sounds more realistic.
  14. Did you not have a decent long lens?