UKSF in Afghan in 1986 - Yep, its a walting thread!

Now I'm not naturally a Walt hunter. I tend not to come across people who walt, but just recently it seemed to have happened right in my face. I'm just not sure where to go from here. It's bonkers.

The individual has a tendancy to use loads of Jack Speak (Ogin, Saffer, Wet, etc, etc) and talk about 'The Corps' but if questioned admits he was in a line infantry regiment that has since been amalgamated (I won't mention it yet).

Recently he was telling me about 'how it is in the green zone'. Needless to say, like many people here who've managed to have a 6 month holiday in the greenzone, I just tried to ignore his gobbing off but eventually said 'Well, at least you've got the luxury of not actually going there.'
'Oh I have' he replied. 'Oh really, when?' 'You wouldn't believe me if I told you. I was there in 1986, training the mudjahideen.'
This was then followed by loads of stories about how he helped fight the Ruskies, and how they would have won quicker but they kept on fighting amongst themselves, etc, etc.
'Them spetnatz were the only ones what could put up a fight. The rest were a bunch of shite, etc, etc'
Needless to say, he could have been one of 'Them', but the fact that he is (let's be blunt) a bit of a knob and knows everything about everything - ever - means that I'm a sceptic.

To cut to the chase: What shall I ask him or do to 'out' him? I have to spend 12 hours with him tomorrow (a kind of living hell - God must hate me). I'm not sure I can do it.


I think you can generally tell when people bullshit about stuff like that. The ones who are quiet, are too professional and proud to tell you shite like that.

Ask him what he was teaching them? Stingers?
Get in his fat face, look him in the eye and scream

"What colour is the Boathouse at Hereford?"

Some Italian bloke called Robert told me it works like a charm.


Didn't think they were meant to engage the Russians directly. Just train. His name isn't Tom Carew is it. But hes dead now, so they think?
Maybe that's it. Perhaps I can tell him I happen to be writing a book about 'heros' like him and would like to hear more of his stories?

Although I might top myself before reaching midday.
Invite him to come on Arrse and share his stories with us, feed him some crap about us all being a lot of wannabies and how we just loooove hearing stories from true heroes". What a treat that would be with the current climate in the NAAFI - a real live walt to play with.
Is his name John Rambo?

Give him a blue cyalume and ask him what it is for? :D


Book Reviewer
It's mission-on for you chap - this looks likes a bonafide walt-dude.

The thing is, you have to keep a straight face and reel him in. Let him hang himself on his own petard as it were. All the while, keeping us in the loop so that we may assist you in administering the coup de grace.

First thing of note is how he's managed to move his walting to a period that 99% of real squaddies will have no experience of, and can thus walt to all but the most serious and/or knowledgeable of bods (that's ARRSE to you and me). If Freud was writing about walting, he'd be pointing this particular facet out as 'classic walt behaviour'.

He's a good catch - well done.
The_Rocket_Man said:
Yep its a walting thread

Stick it in the walting sticky at the top?
I'm really sorry. Hopefully the repainting job this won't affect your employment at a Buddist monastry and hobby of stick fighting!
Get to speak a few words of Pashto, I'm sure that being amongst the locals then he must have picked up a word or phrase.

I spent two weeks in Magalluf and I can order beer, request (plead) not to be arrested and ask for my suitcases in the local language, so he must be able to spit out a few words??


War Hero
Pop rivet the twat to a large iron girder , take a blow torch to his balls and ask him the same question again!!


sarge_massage_my_passage said:
Get in his fat face, look him in the eye and scream

"What colour is the Boathouse at Hereford?"

Some Italian bloke called Robert told me it works like a charm.

Would love to see some one do that for real :D


War Hero
I knew a chap who spent a little time with some chaps in Afg in 1986. He also had a few chats with Remamo in Mosambique at the same sort of time. I think he was doing an MPhil rather than Div 3 or something like that. Good watercolourist and oarsman ( could even have been a blade). Tad Byronesque.


says it all really