UK tests parrot for lethal flu

That is...... an ex parrot. E's fcuking snuffed it.... etc etc.
In a surprising development, UK scientists who have been running tests on a parrot that died in quarantine, to detect whether or not it had the H5N1 flu strain that has killed at least 60 people in Asia have now announced that the bird was in fact "not dead".

The parrot - which was being held in a bio-secure unit at an undisclosed location - was thought to be the first confirmed case of bird flu in Britain since 1992. However, it now appears that the unfortunate avian was merely "resting".

?!?!?!?? What the fuck! Bloody scientists
Oh dear....
Take a sabbatical, and return when you have recieved an education in comedy....

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