UK Police can conquer and pacify Afghanistan

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by arakan, Dec 5, 2006.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. The figures bear me out.

    Cops vis soldiers per square mile? I was never any good at sums. But it seems to me we'd be better off sending our boys in blue overseas, then the troops might get a break.

    Square miles of England = 50,000 square miles.
    Cops in England number about 120,000 + (You ever see one these days?)

    Square miles of Afghanistan = 210,000 square miles.
    British Troops in Afghanistan number about 7,000. ( Nato 30,000)

    Most cities in the UK aren't exactly pacific. True the cops ain't got heavy artillery ....but then again the scum ain't got AKs or explosives. So I suggest a change.

    The army runs UK plc and the cops run Afghanistan.

    Once they've set up a network of roadside cameras, a few politically correct seminars and banged up the odd pensioner for not paying his rates, the Taliban will hand in their weapons under an amnesty.(Providing they can prove that they are the legal owners). Once traffic wardens are in place & community leaders are appointed all will be fine and dandy.

    Somebody tell Bliar!!! He'll believe anything.
  2. Bugger! this was meant for the Naafi!
  3. Too late A! You've started a "serious thread" and you're just going to have to run with it!
  4. Gents I fear that this post is directed at me, maybe to make me bite as I dared take the p1ss when arakan posted a marvellous thread that was promptly moved to the arrse hole. If you go and have a look at it you will know what I mean!!!!!!!
    No doubt I will get a string of meaningless drivel PM's from arakan probably including the one when he/she??? offered to meet me for a fight!! (but only so long as they didn't have to travel to far!!) Yet another 02 thief on arrse :roll: :roll:
  5. Zim-alla-bim
  6. I say, lets pull out NATO and send in the bobbies. With nightsticks. After all, isn't that all they are trained to fight with?
  7. yamkwak time for a beer to cool down OK?
  8. they fight the taliban, and we get the scally-ban. Good trade.

    (yes, i have used this joke already once today, sorries all around)
  9. Yeah, but if the catch Osama he will probably get off with Community Service.
  10. Nahh, First offence. He's looking at a caution!! :D :D :D
  11. True, the Pacific is a long way from the UK.
  12. Pax keyboardwarrior
    True, the Pacific is a long way from the UK but the inabitants of said sea never got the benefits, as we did, of The Romans as long term residents.

    pacific, peaceful, tranquil, from pacificus (L), from Pax (L), peace.

    the Pacific : a body of water between the American continent & Asia. Confusin’ ain’t it? But I bet you were just pulling my lariat.
  13. If there's no PACE out there we'd be able to manage it.

    And don't worry about Osama getting community service, a couple of items from the happy bag should up it to custodial matter.
  14. Who would keep up the war on the British motorist if we send the cops out there?
  15. Hmmm, it might be a good idea. The diversity officers and minority support teams would be in heaven. How long until the CRE brands the redeployed police as institutionaly talibanist? Followed by a CH4 documentary.

    The main problem i see is where will we plug the photocopiers in? How will the diversity officers send thier usual barrage of e-mails? What role would PCSO's have?

    A good idea but needs more developing, in true government style it should take a 4 year feasbility study costing about £10m.