ugliset bird you ever woke up with

#1
Having woken up beside a few ugly birds in my time was just wondering did I od didn'ti. wonndered if any one else has had a similar experience
 
#3
No, Only ever had "Shit, I don't believe I actually did that". But I know I did do it!
 
#4
Thank fuck for my LCD Digital watch with the alarm that got me up nice and early so;
a: I didn't have to look at em in the sober light of day, and
b: I could get back on board in time for breakfast

I have had a few embarrasing nights when accosted by strange bird who I have no recollection of knowing, (either biblical or otherwise)
 
#6
Gron; your sisters and your mum! If it wasn't your sisters, give my regards to your aunites, they scrub up well!
 
#7
Having woken up beside a few ugly birds in my time was just wondering did I od didn'ti. wonndered if any one else has had a similar experience
Been accused of it many a time, but I've always thought they were stunning with my beer goggles on, I've also been like Father_Famine and got out while the going was good.
:rmp:
 
#8
Too many to mention....

A classmate from school who I bumped into in London. She'd become a nurse. Why, oh, why did I?

After work at Stanford TA met up with a bird from Huntington. Why, oh, why did I? Next morning she accused me of being drunk! FFS

Some escapee from a lunatic asylum in Bromley. In the morning all she wanted to talk about was having babies and how lovely I was.
Why, oh, why did I?

My mucka Rick knobbed some fat and ugly Lebanese bird. Daddy was rich and she had a lovely flat in Kensington. Rick wakes up, finds the front door locked. E&E training kics in so he opens the window to crawl out. It's only fecking alarmed. Leb: "What are you doing?" Rick halfway out said window; "I was looking for a pencil to leave my number...." Why, oh, why did he?

.... nurse!
 
#9
Re your title .... What's an Ugliset bird? Does this mean a chick who has had surgery to arrange her bad look ...or...hangs around with other ugly chicks and they've made a bit of a 'scene' out of the whole thing. OR is is an ugly girl who has attended some kind of French educational establishment?
Presumably one that wouldn't pass the 'wank test'.
 
#10
Some chick called kate, 24 year old fatty woke up no covers both nakey room stank of stale fanny she was still soundo so decided to have quick examination,

red raw upper thigh chaffing - check
unshaven flange - check
stubbly legs - check
three rolled belly even when horizontal - check

and upon walking downstairs and leaving the house I discovered 3 cats, shit everywhere old food rotting in the sink, and one big stench. Needless to say I went back for more.
 
#11
Father-Famine Quote; I have had a few embarrasing nights when accosted by strange bird who I have no recollection of knowing, (either biblical or otherwise)

Happened to me at Burniston Barracks in Scarborough. Seems I'd shagged her in Peasholme Park the night before, damned if I could remember it or her
 
#12
Re your title .... What's an Ugliset bird? Does this mean a chick who has had surgery to arrange her bad look ...or...hangs around with other ugly chicks and they've made a bit of a 'scene' out of the whole thing. OR is is an ugly girl who has attended some kind of French educational establishment?

I'm literally sat on the edge of my seat attatched to a trip wire grenade awaiting your reply to this conundrum.
Ugliset? Yeah, I noticed that. I enjoyed watching the concrete set over all of mine.

Ugly = Grateful, but afterwards it's so embarrassing that they have to be 'laundered.'
 
#13
A clark who was new to the unit when i was away on tour. It was very dark, I was very drunk and she was wearing all that fancy underwear that turns Jabba the Hut in to Jessica Rabbit.

It was not a pleasent way to wake up with that looking at me, I can tell you.
 
#14
A clark who was new to the unit when i was away on tour. It was very dark, I was very drunk and she was wearing all that fancy underwear that turns Jabba the Hut in to Jessica Rabbit.

It was not a pleasant way to wake up with that looking at me, I can tell you.
You where sober in the morning when you did her again though
 
#15
You should be more discerning and entitle this thread 'Hottest Bird you have ever woken up with' That would narrow it right down.
From what I remember it was about a 3 to 1 in favour of hippopotadogs. Mind you, it was always an additional bonus waking up next to some gorgeous pad slut still in her lingerie!
 
#16
I unsuccessfully tried to sue Stella Artois once for making me wake up next to really ugly women.
 
#17
Adventure training at Halton transit camp in about 98. Down town, 5 of us pissed waiting for a taxi. Driver will only let 4 of us in, just then a fat egg op appears around us and I agree to share a cab back to camp with her. Natural drunken instincts kick in and an hour later and I'm clambering out of the back of a 4 tonner in the MT park where I've just given her one including a 'whoops, sorry, it just slipped in' up the ricker. I couldn't see her but she was fat as fuck and stunk like a bag of dead sardines. Next morning I line up to get my fried egg and she smiles a toothless smile and I notice the hairy top lip and dip\dazzle eye arrangement.

Alcohol has a lot to answer for.
 
#18
Weymouth, what a town of fucking pigs. I fell in love for a few hours with one who had a roman nose and her mums jeans on, told her I was a tankie at
Bovington then barebacked her sloppy gash whilst my pal wretched up his ale in her kitchen sink.

In the morning she banged on the window as we were piling into a taxi and waved her sleeping infants arm at me the fucking ugly wierdo.
 
#19
Oh and the honking monster that occupied the main building at Split sorting out the r and r admin late 1990's. She caught me off guard
when ratted, ate half my scran from the snap wagon and sucked me inside out with her manky mouth ..
 
#20
Funny how your mind blocks out certain things isn't it? I'd managed to forget all about Weymouth. The bird who worked the naffi in the tented camp. Back to her place one saturday night, sheets that looked like they'd never seen any dhobi dust, bits of rotting food on months old foil containers everywhere, I almost honked up just walking in. Not wanting to be put off quite so easily though I still went ahead with it and, fuck knows how, managed to fall asleep afterwards. Woke up to an amonia smell hitting my nostrils that had me reacing for an S10 that wasn't there. And then I saw it. Lying there, naked, just writing this is making me feel sick.
I was out in the fresh air before I could pull my shirt on. Fuck I wish I'd not remembered that night.
 
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