ugliset bird you ever woke up with

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by gron294, Nov 5, 2010.

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  1. Having woken up beside a few ugly birds in my time was just wondering did I od didn'ti. wonndered if any one else has had a similar experience
  2. your mum...
  3. No, Only ever had "Shit, I don't believe I actually did that". But I know I did do it!
  4. Thank fuck for my LCD Digital watch with the alarm that got me up nice and early so;
    a: I didn't have to look at em in the sober light of day, and
    b: I could get back on board in time for breakfast

    I have had a few embarrasing nights when accosted by strange bird who I have no recollection of knowing, (either biblical or otherwise)
  5. sapper..where my backdated pocket money then..hahah
  6. Gron; your sisters and your mum! If it wasn't your sisters, give my regards to your aunites, they scrub up well!
  7. Been accused of it many a time, but I've always thought they were stunning with my beer goggles on, I've also been like Father_Famine and got out while the going was good.
  8. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    Too many to mention....

    A classmate from school who I bumped into in London. She'd become a nurse. Why, oh, why did I?

    After work at Stanford TA met up with a bird from Huntington. Why, oh, why did I? Next morning she accused me of being drunk! FFS

    Some escapee from a lunatic asylum in Bromley. In the morning all she wanted to talk about was having babies and how lovely I was.
    Why, oh, why did I?

    My mucka Rick knobbed some fat and ugly Lebanese bird. Daddy was rich and she had a lovely flat in Kensington. Rick wakes up, finds the front door locked. E&E training kics in so he opens the window to crawl out. It's only fecking alarmed. Leb: "What are you doing?" Rick halfway out said window; "I was looking for a pencil to leave my number...." Why, oh, why did he?

    .... nurse!
  9. Presumably one that wouldn't pass the 'wank test'.
  10. Some chick called kate, 24 year old fatty woke up no covers both nakey room stank of stale fanny she was still soundo so decided to have quick examination,

    red raw upper thigh chaffing - check
    unshaven flange - check
    stubbly legs - check
    three rolled belly even when horizontal - check

    and upon walking downstairs and leaving the house I discovered 3 cats, shit everywhere old food rotting in the sink, and one big stench. Needless to say I went back for more.
  11. Father-Famine Quote; I have had a few embarrasing nights when accosted by strange bird who I have no recollection of knowing, (either biblical or otherwise)

    Happened to me at Burniston Barracks in Scarborough. Seems I'd shagged her in Peasholme Park the night before, damned if I could remember it or her
  12. Ugliset? Yeah, I noticed that. I enjoyed watching the concrete set over all of mine.

    Ugly = Grateful, but afterwards it's so embarrassing that they have to be 'laundered.'
  13. A clark who was new to the unit when i was away on tour. It was very dark, I was very drunk and she was wearing all that fancy underwear that turns Jabba the Hut in to Jessica Rabbit.

    It was not a pleasent way to wake up with that looking at me, I can tell you.
  14. You where sober in the morning when you did her again though
  15. You should be more discerning and entitle this thread 'Hottest Bird you have ever woken up with' That would narrow it right down.
    From what I remember it was about a 3 to 1 in favour of hippopotadogs. Mind you, it was always an additional bonus waking up next to some gorgeous pad slut still in her lingerie!