ucyclopedia.wikia.co/wiki/gordon_brown (all alleged)

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  1. “Scotland doesn't want him, England doesn't want him - How do you spell failure, one eye or two?”
    ~ Oscar Wilde on Gordon Brown

    The Reasonably Honourable Ackhmed Singh Khan Comrade James Jar-Jar Gordon Josef Molotov-Ribbentrop No More Boom And Bust Crivvens Helpmaboab Gurny Purny MacBroon, also known as Cyclops, The Iron Duke, The Bane of Britain, Gordon Frown, Iron Eyelids, Gordon Shit, Shitfaced Brown, The Gashman, Broon fae Troon, Our Dear Leader, Gordon Clown, No Mandate Gobshite, Gordork Brown, Saggy Knobsack, The Enron Chancellor, The Ponce Of Ponzi, and The Broon, and also by his official titles Gordzilla, Lord Protector of the Bonuses, and Chairman Brown of the Politburo has a face like a smacked arse, is a British Member of Parliament from 1996 until the present day, and is currently the main resident of Number 10 Rillington Place, but only until May or the end of all human hope and decency[2], whichever comes sooner.

    During his time in Parliament he has held the posts of Keeper of the Fondue Set, Her Majesty's Beloved Holder of the Door, and in Tony Blair's Manual Labour government was Chancellor of the Exchequer and Mo Mowlam's bit of rough, having served in opposition as Shallow Chancellor of the Exhaust, and Chancellor of the Exdraughts. He is right this very second unfortunately still Prime Minister and can thus put his feet up wherever he likes and force the Queen to make him a cup of tea and has a lifelong addiction of putting loaves of brown bread in old women's kettles and switching them on causing a major fire in their kitchen whilst the elderly occupant snoozes.

    El Gordo is the current and unparalleled holder of the title of "Worst Term As Prime Minister Ever". While many argue that John Major should not have been knocked off the number one spot, a debate over the issue resulted in the decision being reached that Major at least won an election to justify his occupying the position, and thus Shit wins by default. The fact that the god damned shit-smeared motherfucking Tories are going to get back in at the next election[/b] should guarantee him holding on to this title for at least a couple of weeks.

    Another title laid clim to by Gorzo The Mighty to is the "Saviour of the World", having carefully guided the British and world economy into the worst recession since the Wall Street Crash through his golden policies of Prudence Through Pissing Money At Bankers, Open Government And Financial Responsibility By Off-Balance-Sheet Accounting, Cracking Down On Financial Scam Artists And Tax Evaders By Mollycoddling, Good Old Fashioned Plainspoken Bare-Faced Lying, Keeping His Goddamned Mouth Shut About Iraq Because He Has A Deal With Tony, and Safeguarding Civil Liberties And Manifesto Promises By Taking A Giant Shit On Them.

    One of Flawed Gord's favourite pastimes is foiling his own assasination plots against him, since his police force is under strict orders from The Stig to passively murder him before he manages to completely destroy the world. In a 2008 interview with Nuts magazine, one of the most important of his career, Gordon revealed that his favourite M&M was the yellow one, but he said "... in the words of Homer Simpson, they all end up the same colour in the end". Let's hope the country can sympathise with him enough to get him out of England alive when he's not protected by his reluctant band of cronies, the Government.

    (all alleged of course0.... I weed maself when I found this website..... 8O