• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Tzatziki

#1
Overtly camp dip prefered by sandal wearing, wholegrain, bottom touchers, and only eaten with celery.

Or

Uber hetro taste of the fatherland and THE quintesential condiment for Gyros.

Discuss.
 

cpunk

LE
Moderator
#2
the_rigger said:
Overtly camp dip prefered by sandal wearing, wholegrain, bottom touchers, and only eaten with celery.

Or

Uber hetro taste of the fatherland and THE quintesential condiment for Gyros.

Discuss.
Gyros mit Chillisauce: there is only one true path.
 
#5
Depends on where you purchase it.

The UK attempt at it, as seen in M&S and Tesco is fcuking disgusting white wallpaper paste. The authentic, breath killing manna from heaven, as stocked by Sainsbury's is c0ck on.
 
#6
I despair at the fall of man.

We once were warriors, hunters, providers and protectors. It was once a firecly protected honour to call yourself 'a man'. We were secure enough in our roles, self-image and viewpoint not to have to cow-tow to the whims of the effete and morally ambiguous. We saw our women as our companions, not as our Line-Managers and we defended what was important to us with chivalry and a reasoned hand.

Now we lay supine to the demands of metrosexuality and we eat "tzatziki". Is that even a word?

Can anyone even tell me what's in it? No - but Jamie Oliver and Grahom Norton eat it so that's alright then.

Gyros mit Curry-sauce. End of story. Anything else is German for "ooh, is my bra showing?"

The only time it is acceptable to eat it is if you are doind so in its country of origin, surrounded by men mutually toasting each others' historical figures ("Gentleman, I give you Attaturk!" , "Eeengleesh, let us drink to Meester Churchill!") and served with something that makes you feel ill, but you'll be damned if you'll let it show.
 

cpunk

LE
Moderator
#7
I have to say I think it was sneaky and underhand of the_rigger to start this thread: clearly he is simply attempting to out any nonces lurking in the Naafi by tricking them into revealing a taste for Tzatsiki. Shame on you, Sir.
 
#8
Last tasted Gyros mid April 94 at the Rainbow Bar outside Brooke.. damm were can i get some i feel like Dr Zoidberg when he scoffed the last anchovy
 
#9
CPUNK --Not so senor. I have to admit that, despite RTFQs sqeech that would not be out of place in Henry V- if consumed on a gyros mit zwiebeln mit pommes und mayo, proper deutch Tzatziki is socially acceptable. Under all other circumstances it would be knocked back by Larry Grayson for 'Being a bit puffy'.
When ordered, however, it should be asked for as 'Suzuki Sauce' and the request must be punctuated by covering one nostril and blowing the remnants of a Warsteiner vom out of the other.
 
#10
Rigsby, you should never forget that as officers, brought up through the "public school of buggery" route to adulthood, these guys will look at everything under the microscope to see if they will be accused of any minor infringements of faggotry.


Then all go back to the mess for daisy chains and all male bukkake.



Tzatsiki, on gyros brotchen, in Deutschland, with chapped legs and a wobbly walk, is allowed..end of.
 
#12
shortfuse said:
Rigsby, you should never forget that as officers, brought up through the "public school of buggery" route to adulthood, these guys will look at everything under the microscope to see if they will be accused of any minor infringements of faggotry.


Then all go back to the mess for daisy chains and all male bukkake.

Oh yes, very "Men's Health". You've been reading your bird's cosmo again haven't you?

My problem with tatsiki is not any perceived correlation to homosexuality - that would be as absurd as it is irrelevant. My problem with it is that only blokes who've surrendered their gonads in order to get a girlfriend would extoll it so. It is indicative, in a tiny yet telling way, that we slip daily towards a state of masculinity that demands more hair gel than testosterone.

Plus you put it in your egg banjos, which is just plain wrong.

Tzatsiki, on gyros brotchen, in Deutschland, with chapped legs and a wobbly walk, is allowed..end of.
That's like saying: "A nice hazelnut coulis, on a bed of rice cakes, in a vegetarian restaurant with my friends Gambon and Striker, waiting for my girlfriend to get back from the pub, is allowed"

Such foppery isn't what secured Hitler's testicle as the centrepiece of the Albert Hall, and your rabid defence of it is doing the country nothing but harm. You big gay girl.
 

cpunk

LE
Moderator
#13
shortfuse said:
Rigsby, you should never forget that as officers, brought up through the "public school of buggery" route to adulthood, these guys will look at everything under the microscope to see if they will be accused of any minor infringements of faggotry.


Then all go back to the mess for daisy chains and all male bukkake.



Tzatsiki, on gyros brotchen, in Deutschland, with chapped legs and a wobbly walk, is allowed..end of.
Let's face it, down in the 'regimental restaurant' a trough of chips slathered in imitation HP Sauce is generally considered a pretty sophisticated culinary experience, so I can see how you might be fooled by the appearance of yoghurt with a bit of cucumber and garlic into thinking that you were stepping into Gordon Ramsey territory. Don't be fooled though, the guys in the gyros shops mark you down and the chances are you're going to get ambushed in a back alley by a huge, shaven-headed Gastarbeiter intent on straightening out your colon... and he knows you'll be pushing back after the first couple of thrusts.
 
#14
RT - I'm afraid that is a big negative, keemosabi.
I can only concur from your response that you never did a proper stint in BAOR in the late 80's/early 90s- when Gyros mit suzuki was just as hetro as compo all-ins. As it seems you are treating tzatziki in the modern UK context. Which is wrong.
 
#15
Ah..to eat tzatsiki, under it's native sun in the land where the cucumber is grown (and not unoccasionally rammed up a small boys arse by a moustachioed harem dodger)...with a little pitta, a little paprika, some "oriental spice, summac", a few pickled chillis, some carrots but not many, a humungous slab of lamb, two crates of Efes Pilsner and a bottle of raki. The good stuff, the raki you get your eyesight back after three days! Turkey, land of tough blokes who can outfight Australians...
 
#16
Cpunk a plate of chips with nettos own brand sauce has been the staple part of the common fighting man diets since Cromwell's time to cast a slur on such a vital part of military heritage is about the same as pissing on the regimental colours whilst whistling the Marseillaise.

As for the shaven-headed Gastarbeiter you seem to talk from a position of experience did the big fella make you feel like you were a young subbie on COs fcuk night in the mess again
 
#17
the_rigger said:
RT - I'm afraid that is a big negative, keemosabi.
I can only concur from your response that you never did a proper stint in BAOR in the late 80's/early 90s- when Gyros mit suzuki was just as hetro as compo all-ins. As it seems you are treating tzatziki in the modern UK context. Which is wrong.
It was impossible to be anything but masculine in the late 80's/early 90's - look at Hasselhof and Jason Donovan. They tried hard to ponce it up, yet the sheer possibility of cars that talked and the hinted promise that Kylie Minogue was filthy and up for it kept the era as rigid and testosterone-addled as gary glitter in a FunFactory ball pit.

Context is all however, and in this day and age where male politicians feel so immasculated they must invade other countries as penile compensation, where blokes have to dress up like SAS troopers on the weekend to break from the bovine monotony of their wife-trodden lives and where we have to gang together in hysterical tribes to watch one overpaid oik kick a ball at another one, I believe we must stand firm, eat bits of animal and stand by the only condoments a man needs - those derived from the animals own life-juices.

To compromise is to surrender.
 
#18
What part of an animal is a "curry" then.....

curry sauce is put on things by northeners in chippies.


Tzatsiki is put on Gyros brotchen by uber tanked up squads in Germany.


The Hoff would be mortified to know you're meddling with his personal favourite snack.... leave it before he finds out
 

cpunk

LE
Moderator
#19
Greengrass said:
Cpunk a plate of chips with nettos own brand sauce has been the staple part of the common fighting man diets since Cromwell's time to cast a slur on such a vital part of military heritage is about the same as pissing on the regimental colours whilst whistling the Marseillaise.
Alas your indignation misses the point. I'm all in favour of preserving the vital traditions of the British Army: I'm simply saying that eating Gyros mit Tzatsikis as a compulsory prelude to receiving violent anal sex from big Turks on the back streets of Dortmund shouldn't be considered one of them.
 

Latest Threads