Type 45 in Shields. We're hiring.

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by TheIronDuke, Feb 16, 2013.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    A Type 45 will be pulling into Shields next weekend I am told. One of the most fearsome and high-tech fighting platforms on God's Green Earth. And the Stadium of Shite only 20 miles south. Talk about a window of opportunity or what?

    Clearly an armed attack on a RN vessel is out of the question. It is probably illegal and besides, it is owned by the ******* Queen. I have met her twice and I have no wish to piss her off.

    But if we can recruit some birds in short skirts and a few lezzas for the female RN personnel, maybe chuck in a free iPod, maybe we can distract them long enough to ******* nuke the Makems?

    06.15 North Shields Fish Quay. Opposite where the ice factory used to be. Wear loose clothes. Be there or be somewhere else.
  2. The sun's over the yardarm I see.
  3. seaweed

    seaweed LE Book Reviewer

    If the T45 is indeed on God's green earth, we have a problem.
    • Like Like x 2
  4. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Fascinating. Why not start your own thread? You could call it "Random observations on the position of the sun in relation to archaic naval structures". If you PM me a link I may consider it for inclusion in the next ARRSE Insiders Newsletter.

    Meanwhile, **** off. Geordies have a boat to plot up and we only have a week to do it. The Third World is not going to improve itself, is it?
  5. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Will there be eggs?
  6. It's nice to see that the Government have moved the Naval equivalent of Thor's Hammer into the north-east to quell any possible uprising. Filthy geordies.
  7. I will help, on the condition we find a way to strike Bradford next.
  8. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    Stop it. When Winston Churchill was plotting the downfall of Adolf Hitler he did not go on about bloody eggs. Once we have taken over the T45 and spazzed the Stadium of Light we may retire to the Wooden Dolly for fish and chips. I can arrange boiled eggs if need be. I shagged Linda the waitress 12 years ago and I am sure she will remember the event.
  9. Don't bother with the women in short skirts, this is the Navy your talking about.
  10. Most rape victims do!
  11. 'Victim' is such a pejorative term. I prefer to think of them as surprised participants.