Two Zero Bravo

Do you fackin want to see fackin bits of Two Zero Bravo ?

  • Yes I fackin do

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • No I fackin dont

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • I'd rather pay fackin £19.99 for the fackin hardback

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
#1
OK fackin listen in you fackin fackers

My fackin "tell all" fackin deal with the fackin News of the World has fackin run aground. That fackin colonial, Murdoch was fackin supposed to start serialising the other fackin week but the facker replaced me with "What I did on my holidays" by some fackin fat RN bint. Serves me fackin right for fackin trusting someone called Rupert (don't fackin get me fackin started).

Any-fackin-way, I'm still fackin doing the fackin book "Two Zero Bravo" but you fackers can read some more selected fackin highlights if you fackin want. Just fackin fill in the fackin poll.

Added:

I should have fackin mentioned. I've still got fackin vacancies on the team guarding the fackin booze shelf in the new Lidl opening in fackin Sadr City. Trained fackin operators only mind you.
 
#2
Are there no fackin other choices in the fackin poll?
 
#3
Officer_Dibble said:
OK fackin listen in you fackin fackers

My fackin "tell all" fackin deal with the fackin News of the World has fackin run aground. That fackin colonial, Murdoch was fackin supposed to start serialising the other fackin week but the facker replaced me with "What I did on my holidays" by some fackin fat RN bint. Serves me fackin right for fackin trusting someone called Rupert (don't fackin get me fackin started).

Any-fackin-way, I'm still fackin doing the fackin book "Two Zero Bravo" but you fackers can read some more selected fackin highlights if you fackin want. Just fackin fill in the fackin poll.
I think the poll should be deciding what form of illegal drug you have snorted/injected/rectally inserted or consumed.......or all of the stated?

did that make sense to you :?


fastmedic
 
#4
Will there be an Audio Book option available?
I would suggest Steven Fry to narrate
 
#7
...But only if start some fackin' creative fackin' swearin'! That fackin'-this, fackin'-that gets fackin'booooorin' way too fackin' soon!

Get that, you stoopid facker?
 
#8
Officer_Dibble said:
The_Kurgen said:
Will there be an Audio Book option available?
I would suggest Steven Fry to narrate
Fackin good thinking mate - I've already fackin signed up Felicity Kendall. That Fry can be a fackin unreliable facker.
Tell me about it.

Spent two weeks in an OP with Fry and after we got bumped the facker started blurting quotes from Oscar Wilde as I tried to give him a set of orders (he was OK at running away). Had to give him a slap.

Can't believe you carried that facker through selection, OD.
 
#11
Bit of a light fingered facker as well, I seem to fackin recall. He was on my fackin team when we did the fackin recces for Corporate. Fackin matelots dropped us at fackin Teal Inlet. Nipped over to have a quick shufftie at facking Port San Carlos just to make sure the fackin beach was clear - that fackin Jeremy Moore was a facker for litter and he'd have had the fackin booties on their fackin hands and knees if it had been a mess. Anyway, fackin work done so we fackin settle down for the fackin night. I was fackin gasping and my Watneys Red Barrel had all fackin gone down on the Atlantic Conveyor. So anyway, I fackin tell Fry to listen out on HF just in case Head Shed want anything and fackin tab over to Port Stanley. Took fackin ages I can tell you.

Anyway by the time I fackin got there, the fackin Upland Goose was closed and the street was full of fackin Argies eating paella kebabs and waiting for a fackin taxi. Fackin pop round the back, knock on the fackin door and the old girl comes down. As luck would fackin have it, I got the last four Party Sevens in the fackin southern hemisphere. Reach for my fackin wallet and fackin nothing. Thats fackin odd I think. Anyway she let me have the fackers on tick cos I said we'd be back in a couple of weeks and I fackin tabs back over to the fackin hide.

Gets fackin back and hear the fackin morse key tapping away. Well I'm not the fackin fastest at fackin morse but even I could fackin make out "OH YES YES YES I'M NEARLY THERE". So I give the location a quick fackin eyeball with the twiggy and theres fackin Fry hunched over the fackin set panting like a UDR man on BFT. Anyway I get back and say fackin nothing. My fackin wallet turns up under the fackin sh!t bag and when I fackin get back to Hereford theres some fackin strange amounts on my fackin plastic. Turns out fackin Fry had half-inched my fackin Gold Card and had been morsing one of them 0898 frequencies.

Fackin unbelievable!

Anyway, its your fackin round I think.
 
#14
Forks said:
I haven't a clue what is going on.
Forks, old chap: you were just about to set me up with your sister Arabella. While you're up - two G&Ts and a packet of crisps, there's a good fellow. Oh and there seems to be something stuck to your heel. No, the other one.

OD: Kendall was something of an operator back in the day, though, eh? That time she strolled into a chippy on the Falls Road wearing shades and a fake beard and came back out with no prisoners. Hard as.
 
#15
Officer_Dibble said:
Bit of a light fingered facker as well, I seem to fackin recall. He was on my fackin team when we did the fackin recces for Corporate. Fackin matelots dropped us at fackin Teal Inlet. Nipped over to have a quick shufftie at facking Port San Carlos just to make sure the fackin beach was clear - that fackin Jeremy Moore was a facker for litter and he'd have had the fackin booties on their fackin hands and knees if it had been a mess. Anyway, fackin work done so we fackin settle down for the fackin night. I was fackin gasping and my Watneys Red Barrel had all fackin gone down on the Atlantic Conveyor. So anyway, I fackin tell Fry to listen out on HF just in case Head Shed want anything and fackin tab over to Port Stanley. Took fackin ages I can tell you.

Anyway by the time I fackin got there, the fackin Upland Goose was closed and the street was full of fackin Argies eating paella kebabs and waiting for a fackin taxi. Fackin pop round the back, knock on the fackin door and the old girl comes down. As luck would fackin have it, I got the last four Party Sevens in the fackin southern hemisphere. Reach for my fackin wallet and fackin nothing. Thats fackin odd I think. Anyway she let me have the fackers on tick cos I said we'd be back in a couple of weeks and I fackin tabs back over to the fackin hide.

Gets fackin back and hear the fackin morse key tapping away. Well I'm not the fackin fastest at fackin morse but even I could fackin make out "OH YES YES YES I'M NEARLY THERE". So I give the location a quick fackin eyeball with the twiggy and theres fackin Fry hunched over the fackin set panting like a UDR man on BFT. Anyway I get back and say fackin nothing. My fackin wallet turns up under the fackin sh!t bag and when I fackin get back to Hereford theres some fackin strange amounts on my fackin plastic. Turns out fackin Fry had half-inched my fackin Gold Card and had been morsing one of them 0898 frequencies.

Fackin unbelievable!

Anyway, its your fackin round I think.
Funny as fack. :D
 
#16
What is this fackin book about then anyone fuckin know cause i fackin would like to hear so i dont buy a load of fackin bollocks if it fackin comes to a fackin book store near my fackin p*ss town.
 
#18
There's many a fackin tale told about fackin old Felicity. Fackin top girl she is. Was fackin never in the fackin Regiment as such mind you but neither was I at the fackin time. The fackin boys all called her Lickity - I don't want to go into fackin detail but it was after a fackin company smoker where we all had to do a fackin turn and, suffice to fackin say, she's a trained fackin gymnast and the last time I saw anything fackin like it was in a bar in fackin Saigon.


Anyway, we first fackin served together over the fackin water and it was fackin hairy I can fackin tell you. I'll fackin need to fill you in on the fackin background so I don't fackin know if I should really be fackin telling you this, cos it could fackin destroy the whole fackin Northern Ireland Peace Agreement. Seeing as you're a fackin mate I'll tell you a fackin big secret but don't go telling any other fackers, OK.

Come a bit fackin closer and listen in!

Right, the fackin fact is a certain fackin bearded bloke fackin isn't even fackin Irish! God's fackin truth. He's as fackin English as you and me. His fackin Dad's a right posh facker and the little facker only went to fackin Eton - I kid you fackin not. The fackin problems only fackin started cos when he fackin put that fackin Eton outfit on, he looked just like fackin Eddie Munster and with his fackin name being what it was, the other fackers made his facking life fackin misery. Everywhere the facker went, the other posh fackers kept going "da-da-da-dah ding ding, da-da-da-dah ding ding". Fackin end result was that the facker turned against the fackin English establishment and started spouting republican socialism - a bit fackin like that fackin Jock MP who used to be a fackin shineyarse. The other fackin thing is his fackin voice has never fackin broke.

Hold on a fackin minute, I hear you fackin say, I've fackin heard the facker on the telly and he sounds fackin Irish to me. Well you remember when the fackers had to have fackin actors fackin voices on the telly. Well, fackin turns out the fackin BBC made a fackin great c0ck-up. Most fackers had never actually heard him fackin speak (well not and fackin lived to tell the fackin tale anyway). So this fackin BBC producer just assumed he was fackin Irish and got some Irish facker to do the fackin voiceover.

Problem was, that once they got rid of the fackin actors, he couldnt fackin do the fackin voice and no facker was going to fackin believe a fackin posh high pitched Englishman. He tried fackin voice coaches and fackin everything but it ended up that he fackin had to hire that fackin Ray Allen who used to do Tich and Quackers. Haven't you fackin noticed that he's always stood behind him whenever they're on the fackin telly. Anyway, story is that fackin Ray Allen was showing off with a fackin glass of water, and before they fackin knew where they were, they'd fackin signed up to fackin disarm - well you fackin try saying "irrevocably" while drinking a fackin glass of water.

Where's all this fackin leading I hear you fackin ask. Well I'm just off to fackin point my Charlie G at the target, and then we'll fackin get on to that.

Isn't it your facking round by the way? Cheers
 
#19
Listen to you, giving it "Felicity" and "Lickity". To you and me she was always "ma'am" (well, I sometimes called her "mummy" but that was by accident).
 
#20
Hope the fackin book doesnt have fackin after every fackin word, am still fackin clueless to what the fack its fackin about fact or fackin fiction?? about a fackin h*e with a voice problem or not a fackin h*e.

Fackin fackin fackin fackin fackin fackin fackin hell this book is fackin p*ssing me right fackin off and i havent even fackin read it fackin yet so fack the book and find a fackin original title fackin hell.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Auld-Yin Competitions 20
Signallers The Book Club 2
Auld-Yin Competitions 33

Similar threads

New Posts

Latest Threads