Two Zero Bravo

Discussion in 'Army Reserve' started by Officer_Dibble, Apr 22, 2007.

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  1. Yes I fackin do

    0 vote(s)
  2. No I fackin dont

    0 vote(s)
  3. I'd rather pay fackin £19.99 for the fackin hardback

    0 vote(s)
  1. OK fackin listen in you fackin fackers

    My fackin "tell all" fackin deal with the fackin News of the World has fackin run aground. That fackin colonial, Murdoch was fackin supposed to start serialising the other fackin week but the facker replaced me with "What I did on my holidays" by some fackin fat RN bint. Serves me fackin right for fackin trusting someone called Rupert (don't fackin get me fackin started).

    Any-fackin-way, I'm still fackin doing the fackin book "Two Zero Bravo" but you fackers can read some more selected fackin highlights if you fackin want. Just fackin fill in the fackin poll.


    I should have fackin mentioned. I've still got fackin vacancies on the team guarding the fackin booze shelf in the new Lidl opening in fackin Sadr City. Trained fackin operators only mind you.
  2. Are there no fackin other choices in the fackin poll?
  3. I think the poll should be deciding what form of illegal drug you have snorted/injected/rectally inserted or consumed.......or all of the stated?

    did that make sense to you :?

  4. Will there be an Audio Book option available?
    I would suggest Steven Fry to narrate
  5. Fack this I'm off to fack my wife!
  6. Fackin good thinking mate - I've already fackin signed up Felicity Kendall. That Fry can be a fackin unreliable facker.
  7. ...But only if start some fackin' creative fackin' swearin'! That fackin'-this, fackin'-that gets fackin'booooorin' way too fackin' soon!

    Get that, you stoopid facker?
  8. Tell me about it.

    Spent two weeks in an OP with Fry and after we got bumped the facker started blurting quotes from Oscar Wilde as I tried to give him a set of orders (he was OK at running away). Had to give him a slap.

    Can't believe you carried that facker through selection, OD.
  9. I haven't a clue what is going on.
  10. Bit of a light fingered facker as well, I seem to fackin recall. He was on my fackin team when we did the fackin recces for Corporate. Fackin matelots dropped us at fackin Teal Inlet. Nipped over to have a quick shufftie at facking Port San Carlos just to make sure the fackin beach was clear - that fackin Jeremy Moore was a facker for litter and he'd have had the fackin booties on their fackin hands and knees if it had been a mess. Anyway, fackin work done so we fackin settle down for the fackin night. I was fackin gasping and my Watneys Red Barrel had all fackin gone down on the Atlantic Conveyor. So anyway, I fackin tell Fry to listen out on HF just in case Head Shed want anything and fackin tab over to Port Stanley. Took fackin ages I can tell you.

    Anyway by the time I fackin got there, the fackin Upland Goose was closed and the street was full of fackin Argies eating paella kebabs and waiting for a fackin taxi. Fackin pop round the back, knock on the fackin door and the old girl comes down. As luck would fackin have it, I got the last four Party Sevens in the fackin southern hemisphere. Reach for my fackin wallet and fackin nothing. Thats fackin odd I think. Anyway she let me have the fackers on tick cos I said we'd be back in a couple of weeks and I fackin tabs back over to the fackin hide.

    Gets fackin back and hear the fackin morse key tapping away. Well I'm not the fackin fastest at fackin morse but even I could fackin make out "OH YES YES YES I'M NEARLY THERE". So I give the location a quick fackin eyeball with the twiggy and theres fackin Fry hunched over the fackin set panting like a UDR man on BFT. Anyway I get back and say fackin nothing. My fackin wallet turns up under the fackin sh!t bag and when I fackin get back to Hereford theres some fackin strange amounts on my fackin plastic. Turns out fackin Fry had half-inched my fackin Gold Card and had been morsing one of them 0898 frequencies.

    Fackin unbelievable!

    Anyway, its your fackin round I think.
  11. Don't you fackin worry Sir. That's why God created fackin Pl Sgts.
    Did you fackin tie that wool to the fackin Officer's Mess door, Sir ?
    Fackin excellent. Now just you follow it back!
  12. This man is a genious!

    a Facking cnut of a genious mind tho...

    Buy that man a Facking pint!
  13. Forks, old chap: you were just about to set me up with your sister Arabella. While you're up - two G&Ts and a packet of crisps, there's a good fellow. Oh and there seems to be something stuck to your heel. No, the other one.

    OD: Kendall was something of an operator back in the day, though, eh? That time she strolled into a chippy on the Falls Road wearing shades and a fake beard and came back out with no prisoners. Hard as.
  14. Funny as fack. :D