Two Old Ladies

Two old ladies were shopping in town the other day.
one says to the other did you come on the bus.?
The other replies yes but i made it look like a asthma attack.
A friend of mine is a former para with a sense of humour. One day at the shopping centre he flashed his cock to two old ladies on the escalators. One of them had a stroke!

The other one couldn't reach...
Two ladies sitting on a park bench, having a ciggie.

It starts to rain, so Dorothy gets a condom out of her handbag and slips it over the fag. Ethel asks what she's doing, and Dorothy explains that it keeps the fag dry in the rain. Ethel thinks that this is a great idea, so she goes to the chemist and asks for some condoms - the shopkeeper asks what kind she'd like. Ethel says 'anything'll do, as long as it'll fit a Camel'.
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