Two old blokes were on their way back from the pub one night, as they passed the local knocking shop....they thought 'Why not....we don't have a lot of time left, we may as well make the most of it'. As they went in, the Madam took one look at them and whispered to her manager..."I'm not wasting my girls on these two pissed up old farts, go up to rooms one and two and put inflatable dolls in each of the beds, they'll never know the difference , then you can show these two upstairs. The old guys went about their business and later, as they were walking home, the first old man said "You know I think the girl I had was dead !" "Dead?" said his mate "Why do you say that?" "Well she never moved a muscle or made a sound, the whole time I was screwing her." The other old geezer answered, "Well it could have been worse, I think mine was a witch." "A Witch?" said his mate "Why do you think she was a witch?" "Well I after I'd finished screwing her, I decided to 'go down for a bit of pie' and on the way, I gave the inside of her thigh a little nibble........She farted, then flew out of the window and took my teeth with her."