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Twisted Language

#1
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>Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
>
>A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
>
>Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
>
>Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
>
>A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
>
>A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
>
>Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
>
>Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
>
>Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
>
>Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
>
>When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
>
>A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
>
>What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
>
>Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
>
>In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
>
>She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
>
>A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
>
>If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
>
>With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
>
>When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
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>You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
>
>Every calendar's days are numbered.
>
>A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
>
>A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
>
>He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
>
>A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at
large.
>
>Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall
>
>Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
>
>Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
>
>Acupuncture is a jab well done.
 

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