TV License - A Way Around it?


War Hero
I heard this one the other day and it sounds pretty good.

Scenario;  You have a block/mess of say 20 people or more.   you find the most trustworthy bloke and you all "sell" your TV to him.  In reality you then give him 1 x 20th of the annual TV license and he gets a license that covers all of "his" TVs in the block.  Could it work?

Could a mess not "buy" your TV and then only have 1 license?

Sorry if this is an old one but I only came out from under my rock the other day....


How we used to deal with it:

TV detector van has right of access / search to camp, but out of courtesy will usually stop at the front gate and request permission from CO, Adjt, RSM or whoever.   When they go into the camp they have the right to enter open rooms in the mess.

The plot:

Duty BOD on gate uses tannoy to announce:  "TV detector van is now in camp, will all TV owners please report to their rooms with their TV licences ready for inspection."

Sinners leg it to room, lock it and then arrse off on a run, armoury check etc and are unavailable.  Token blokes with TV licences stand outside rooms ready for inspection.

Plan does require SOME blokes to appear with TV licences to maintain credibilty of scam.

Anyone care to shoot me down with a sect 69?
:'(  TV Detector vans now carry handheld residual radiation moniters so they can detect if a TV has been on in the last 8 hours and they even can find it if you put it in your wardrobe.

They also know that the QM's have a copy of all they keys.

Is there no end to the injustice


get away from TV license´s by living in germany, and watch good old BFBS or sky.
don´t have a TV 8) 8) 8) 8)


Trog, do you live in a cave?

I feel that perhaps you should.


War Hero
TV = Idiot's Lantern.

Sure, there are plenty of interesting things on the Box, but then again, most jury members watch nothing but soap operas and crap, rather than doing anything else with life.  It is for this reason that I would rather pay the cost of the licence and avoid court, rather than depend upon some idiot chosing my fate...  Or is that to logical for some people.

Bottom line is that the Law dictates that you have a licence for a TV, Shotgun, Car, Export Sales etc...  So pay up.


Sinner blow me!
It was what i call stating the obvious which you could´nt do, you just came out with some c@ap about putting it over the tannoy system, surely the TV detector people are not going to fall for that old cuff, I think they ´ve got more common sense then that. So whos the caveman.............must be you, you unlogical gimp! 8) 8) 8) 8)


Oh I am stung by that rapier riposte Trog. I'd love to come back with something equally pithy, but can't.... must be my "unlogical gimp" mind..... ah, well.

P.S.  is English your first language?
Do what I did for the four years I was a pad.  Buy a black and white licence.  No one ever banged on my door, even when the detector van came around and they caught two couples across the road from me.  As for a camp actually STOPPING it's daily work routine so as for a parade for TV Licence inspectors to see everyone's licence, this seems to me far fetched.  Which CO/OC/RSM/SSM would allow such a thing?  I thought the job of the detector van was to actually CATCH you watching the TV.  If it's switched off you could just say 'I haven't switched that on in years as I don't like any of the channels', so they NEED to catch you watching it as it would be hard for them to prove in court that you do actually watch it.   Besides, it's all sh1te on the box nowadays.  The only thing worth watching is the news and the Simpsons.


Book Reviewer
Question - do detector vans actually detect anything?  I was told by a TV  Licence enforcer (Ex-RQMS, naturally) that they're all propoganda and bollocks, and that the licence people just correlate a list of licences held with an electoral role, and go for the gaps.

Bit of a bummer in that scrotes who don't vote don't pay, but then they probably only watch Bravo and 'overseas' channels anyway.


Yes the vans can detect emissions.  If you were to swat up on your A&P theory (Antennae and Propagation) you would know that if an antenna recieves a signal (such as a TV broadcast), it will actually re-radiate (transmit) a very small amount of the recieved signal ready to be detected by the detector van.

It's a fair cop guv, but society's to blame!!!
In the UK there is 4 useable detector vans and over 200 portable units, so the chance of it being out side your house is pretty low as said before propaganda is the key..

1.      If you buy a new TV register it to an address that does have a licence as in this modern IT world they just have to look you up on a database.
2.      If you have SKY/Cable they by law must provide your details to the authorities.

3.             If you comply with the above Just get a licence simple……… ;D
They do I believe, have the right into your home. More than a copper doing the rounds. I think they have some sort of open warrant.
Gestapo, at least they had SOME good chaps!
If you are looking for a way round it I once suggested to a bloke that he did not watch TV prior to 20.30 hrs("cos the detector van Gestapo are all civvies and will have knocked off by then" ;D ) and when not in use prior to the switch on time to wrap his NBC smock around the set ("They can detect the on residual radiation emitting from the set and the noddy suit stops them" ;D ;D ) It was later told to me that he had made a very nice TV warmer from a smock and was schimpfing because he wanted to watch Coro St !!! - he is an ASM now  :-/

I don't know if the Detector Van Gestapo have resorted to the tactics emloyed by thier counterparts in New Zealand - New Zealand OnAir - they telephoned a mate of mine one night and said they were conducting a survey on viewing habits. After a few questions about what he had been watching they said "Thanks for the co-operation, we note that you are not on our records as a TV Licence holder- we will send you the bill in the mail" They did that  AND back dated it a few years for the trouble!!! I always hit the MUTE key when the phone rings now. All is not lost however, the TV Licence fee in NZ was abolished a few years ago because no one paid it - so get a campaign of civil disobedience going.

I personally would sell my house and my car to help out the BBC  ;)
Remind me not to get into a nuclear war with your mate ;D

If charcoal stops radiation, I'll be hiding in the fireplace come WW3!

Best bet (sorry, only works for pads), give the shop a false address when you buy the TV (they are under a legal obligation to report all TV sales to the licensing authority).

The detector vans are few and far between, most of em are duds working off the database that the TV shops have supplied them.

If all else fails, refuse entry (they need a warrant, even if they see one through the door, deny it later, they have to prove it) and then buy a licence before they come back, claiming that you recently bought the set second hand from a man in the pub.

How do I know this, cause I'm a smart arrse ;D


I personally advocate civil disobedience. Are the TV Licence Bods really going to take a whole mess or Barracks to court. Can you imagine the outcry if they decided to check a Sergeants Mess and no one had a licence, so they decided to take the whole mess to Court. I think the Sun might have something to say when TV Licences are deemed to be more important than overstretch in the forces.
In a previous posting the TV licensing man turned up with a handheld detector and went off to the Mess. He found 8 TVs registered to 'welfare', and thus covered by the CO's unit licence, and lots of locked rooms. He knew the QM had spare keys, but the QM said the occupier would have to be present unless he had warrants, and everyone was awfully busy.

So, he sold two licences to girlies who were crapping themeselves and went on his way.

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