Tv adverts that make you want to smash your TV

Cold_Collation

LE
Book Reviewer
Have the perfume adds started yet? They're my favourites.
Impossibly handsome male, either on a yacht or in an empty city at night, meets equally impossibly beautiful female in designer dress that is totally impracticle to wear anywhere. Woman is normally accompanied by dangerous big cat or wolf. The couple embrace on top of a skyscraper, usually during a thunder storm and then the stupid fake Frenchmen does the voice over.
" Essaance du skuuunk....... paaafum de toilet..................because ze women luuuurve overpriced shite!

Absolutely guaranteed to make me not buy it, even if I could remember the name in the first place.
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Chef

LE
Another song massacred, this time 99 balloons, same MO slow it down and get some breathy bird to warble the words, Virgin Red, computer stuff I think.
 

Agony_Aunt

War Hero
Just spotted a flasher on the Smyths Toys ad. He was wearing a long sleevless mac, had unkempt long gray hair with datk gray beard, black y-fronts. He seemed to be loutering with intent. This was at approximately 15:20.
 
The Raging Bull biltong ad and having to explain why they call each other ‘Bru’ instead of ‘Bro’.
 

Yokel

LE
Is it possible to watch any TV programme, or even any advert break, without seeing an advert for low cost funeral services? No ceremony, no comforting religious readings, nothing. Nothing to mark a life.

"Is there a dead body in your house? Are you unfeeling and self centred? Book an easy pick up at Cadeaver Collections."

"Are you feeling under the weather? You might have Covid Ebola AIDS. Just call Acme funerals and house clearance when your breathing starts to become laboured."

Almost every advert break FFS!
 
Is it possible to watch any TV programme, or even any advert break, without seeing an advert for low cost funeral services? No ceremony, no comforting religious readings, nothing. Nothing to mark a life.

"Is there a dead body in your house? Are you unfeeling and self centred? Book an easy pick up at Cadeaver Collections."

"Are you feeling under the weather? You might have Covid Ebola AIDS. Just call Acme funerals and house clearance when your breathing starts to become laboured."

Almost every advert break FFS!
Been done before
 

Gout Man

LE
Book Reviewer
Is it possible to watch any TV programme, or even any advert break, without seeing an advert for low cost funeral services? No ceremony, no comforting religious readings, nothing. Nothing to mark a life.

"Is there a dead body in your house? Are you unfeeling and self centred? Book an easy pick up at Cadeaver Collections."

"Are you feeling under the weather? You might have Covid Ebola AIDS. Just call Acme funerals and house clearance when your breathing starts to become laboured."

Almost every advert break FFS!
Australian Midday TV constantly has life insurance and funeral insurance ads on TV.

NIght time TV normally has sports betting ads.
 
Australian Midday TV constantly has life insurance and funeral insurance ads on TV.

NIght time TV normally has sports betting ads.
Same here with the betting ads having a disclaimer about when the fun stops stop betting
 

Chef

LE
Same here with the betting ads having a disclaimer about when the fun stops stop betting
There was for a short period a set of ads explaining how one could set limits of time and money to keep gambling 'fun'. The ads didn't mention that these limits can, probably, be overridden by the punter.

I've always liked the 'When the fun stops, stop.' tailpiece.

A bit like 'When the 8Ace has got your thirst quenched stop drinking.' and about as sincere.
 

Dalef65

Old-Salt
There's one on right now with that Claudia Winkleman advertising CBD or something.
She's sat on a horse surrounded by assorted unwashed screaming hordes, some of them carrying swords and suchlike (I think).
I wish someone would run her through.
 
There's one on right now with that Claudia Winkleman advertising CBD or something.
She's sat on a horse surrounded by assorted unwashed screaming hordes, some of them carrying swords and suchlike (I think).
I wish someone would run her through.
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TamH70

MIA
I'd happily pierce her
You leave her alone, those lovely luscious Head and Shoulders-scented tresses are mine to bury my nostrils into.

Get your own raven-haired beauty!
 
Have the perfume adds started yet? They're my favourites.
Impossibly handsome male, either on a yacht or in an empty city at night, meets equally impossibly beautiful female in designer dress that is totally impracticle to wear anywhere. Woman is normally accompanied by dangerous big cat or wolf. The couple embrace on top of a skyscraper, usually during a thunder storm and then the stupid fake Frenchmen does the voice over.
" Essaance du skuuunk....... paaafum de toilet..................because ze women luuuurve overpriced shite!

Absolutely guaranteed to make me not buy it, even if I could remember the name in the first place.
I'm impressed you worked out it's a perfume ad.

I've had alcohol induced fever dreams that made more sense.
 
Are these adverts aimed at ARRSE readers? If you read certain threads you might get the impression that ARRSE was populated by super handsome men who are nothing less than God's gift to women, who criticise any women who has more body mass than a stick instinct, or do not spend all day doing their makeup.
I'm glad it's not full of white knighting bores who believe only the beautiful, perfect specimens of humanity can have an opinion or indulge in some fun banter.
 
Is it possible to watch any TV programme, or even any advert break, without seeing an advert for low cost funeral services? No ceremony, no comforting religious readings, nothing. Nothing to mark a life.

"Is there a dead body in your house? Are you unfeeling and self centred? Book an easy pick up at Cadeaver Collections."

"Are you feeling under the weather? You might have Covid Ebola AIDS. Just call Acme funerals and house clearance when your breathing starts to become laboured."

Almost every advert break FFS!
I missed that advert.

Do you have the number and can you recommend a good Landscape Gardener/Builder so I can price match the cost of a patio.

Is it cheaper to put in a patio or contact Acme Funerals & House Clearance?

I may soon have a body to lose.
 
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