Tv adverts that make you want to smash your TV

[Grouchy]

The guide dog advert. Where the Scouse type bloke says " when I went blind eight years ago"

I thought he said "When I went on a blind date year's ago"

**** me she must have been ugly to burn your peepers out.

I don't get why the daft twat is staring out of his front window...

 

[Grouchy]

This thread keeps giving me tv flashbacks, so how about the ads for the "peoples postcode lottery"?
They show previous winners, who somehow look like a gang of total losers - why is nearly every one a total fkn mong with three teeth, shit tattoos and bingo wings?

The people's postcode lottery should be called the ' could you live with yourself if that ruddy birch up the road won and you didn't so you had better play it lottery'.

 

[BuckFelize]

I believe the Peoples Postcode Lottery marketing targets a certain gene pool.

Does anyone on here know of anybody who does this thing? Because I've yet to encounter anything other than blank stares.

 

[Penguin142]

I hate DSTV advertising it's own programmes, the same clip every time, can almost repeat the dialogue word for word.

 

[Skunkmiester]

Good spot! The one with the plump slit eyed dude with his hose pipe grips my goat every time, well almost as much as seeing Jorge act the spoilt twat last sunday.......again

I would love to see Jorge demoted to 2nd rider next year. Dovi has proved himself to be worthy of P1 status. And he seems like a great guy, unlike the Spanish twat.
Marquez is simply amazing, he’s becomming the new GOAT.

 

[FHA]

What about that car hire advert, the one where the smug twat rents the Beemer? Has that been mentioned?
The guy gets a bad news phonecall from his daughter or something saying "daddy I've fücked off to Syria and joined Isis. Oh and I've emptied your accounts and given it all to my new husbands..."
Then the guy turns happily to the camera and says "that's nothing, I've just rented a 5 series BMW for £4.50".
And hopefully meets a pissed-up Polish truck driver on the way out.

 

[redindxb]

The Bingo one with Paddy McGuiness and Barbara Windsor
He is about as funny as an STD

 

[Stavanger]

I would love to see Jorge demoted to 2nd rider next year. Dovi has proved himself to be worthy of P1 status. And he seems like a great guy, unlike the Spanish twat.
Marquez is simply amazing, he’s becomming the new GOAT.

Try this for a grin, bit of a marmite thing but if you like it you can imagine the scene;
http://www.bikeme.tv/index.php/did-...r-are-you-riding-with-your-eyes-closed-again/

 

[CptDanjou]

This ad makes me want to jack off over my TV , not smash it ...

 

[piper89]

Quickquid The broken boiler one were she lets her son become a dirtbox until its fixed at 1670% id let them stay durty

 

[uncle_vanya]

This ad makes me want to jack off over my TV , not smash it ...

Yeah! Show us your flanges....

 

[CorpTax]

The scene: Tan Hill Inn, some oversize boozers and their squaws (probably not local) tucking in to a couple of scoops on an ostensibly Christmas morning. Plot develops, namely the weather becomes (remarkably) more hostile than the locals, looks like a lock-in.

Set to on the lock-in, with grub, a table of plenty that closely resembles Christmas Dinner, a bounteous repast.

Seems just get started on the blow-out, when two helpful coves dig out the front door and announce that they've liberated all . . .

. . . To baleful glares from all assembled, who evidently do not appreciate being so 'rescued'.

Fade to sickening, patronising 'Waitrose makes Christmas' blurb.

Apart from the obvious cuntinuity errors, the nearest Waitrose to the Tan Hill Inn is 60 miles away, passing plenty of supermarkets (and local suppliers) on the way.

The southern cunts.

 

[Joker62]

The scene: Tan Hill Inn, some oversize boozers and their squaws (probably not local) tucking in to a couple of scoops on an ostensibly Christmas morning. Plot develops, namely the weather becomes (remarkably) more hostile than the locals, looks like a lock-in.

Set to on the lock-in, with grub, a table of plenty that closely resembles Christmas Dinner, a bounteous repast.

Seems just get started on the blow-out, when two helpful coves dig out the front door and announce that they've liberated all . . .

. . . To baleful glares from all assembled, who evidently do not appreciate being so 'rescued'.

Fade to sickening, patronising 'Waitrose makes Christmas' blurb.

Apart from the obvious cuntinuity errors, the nearest Waitrose to the Tan Hill Inn is 60 miles away, passing plenty of supermarkets (and local suppliers) on the way.

The southern cunts.

It was in the papers the other day, that Waitrose don't deliver out that far and this came from residents of the area.

 

[Electromagnetic]

I believe the Peoples Postcode Lottery marketing targets a certain gene pool, indeed it could be renamed Chav Mong Lottery (Sink Estate Winners Guaranteed)...The Euromillions is soooo much more classy, darrrrrling

It turn's out that my new phone number was reallocated from a victim of postcode lottery and various marketing calls. Sounded highly suspicious to me.
"Can you confirm your name and post code?"
"But I don't subscribe to Post Code Lottery..."
When this didn't put them off I asked for the last letter in the postcode.
"Click"
Dialled 1471
"The caller withheld their number"

My conclusion is it's call centres trying to populate marketing databases. I hope the *******s get caught and fined megabucks.

 

[Bogie_Bear]

I’ve just seen an advert for guide dogs, it starts with a blind woman hitching up her guide dog, then running into the sea for a swim, now I’m not one to deny anyone a dip in the sea, but what happens if the poor dog can’t swim? What a waste

There was a story in our local paper about an 80 year old blind man doing a parachute jump. I could just imagine him bracing for impact as the lead goes slack.......

 

[ancienturion]

Quickquid The broken boiler one were she lets her son become a dirtbox until its fixed at 1670% id let them stay durty

Hmmm. You reckon she's durty then?

 

[Joker62]

Hmmm. You reckon she's durty then?

She has a certain "council estate" look about her, so I reckon so.

 

[1&12]

Diiiirrrtttyy - her on the Secret Escapes add, shes horny enough in the otherwise boring ads, but I saw this photo of her cuddling summit what looks like a penis, only smaller.
The girl obviously has hidden depths.
Well, maybe her depths have been probed by now.

 

[pooky]

The scene: Tan Hill Inn, some oversize boozers and their squaws (probably not local) tucking in to a couple of scoops on an ostensibly Christmas morning. Plot develops, namely the weather becomes (remarkably) more hostile than the locals, looks like a lock-in.

Set to on the lock-in, with grub, a table of plenty that closely resembles Christmas Dinner, a bounteous repast.

Seems just get started on the blow-out, when two helpful coves dig out the front door and announce that they've liberated all . . .

. . . To baleful glares from all assembled, who evidently do not appreciate being so 'rescued'.

Fade to sickening, patronising 'Waitrose makes Christmas' blurb.

Apart from the obvious cuntinuity errors, the nearest Waitrose to the Tan Hill Inn is 60 miles away, passing plenty of supermarkets (and local suppliers) on the way.

The southern cunts.

And how come the leccy has gone out - but the oven is working?!!!!!

 

[piper89]

Hmmm. You reckon she's durty then?

Oh yes very very Durty blade she is