Turn yourself in to the Dibble.

#3
Let it out, unburden yourself, seek forgiveness for all non crimes you have committed right here, you non criminal bastards.

So calling someone a wanker in South Yorkshire is going to get your collar felt...fuck me the Bill will be busy.
 
#4
I'm completely confused. Why would the Police be encouraging people to report non-crimes? Haven't they got enough work with actual crimes?
 
#5
I'm completely confused. Why would the Police be encouraging people to report non-crimes? Haven't they got enough work with actual crimes?
Non-crimes are higher in the crime league therefore attracting higher ratings in the honours list.
 
#11
Non-crimes are higher in the crime league therefore attracting higher ratings in the honours list.
The cynic in me says that this is a way of manipulating statistics:
Crime cases reported: 100; Crime cases resolved and closed: 50
non-Crime cases reported: 100; non-Crime cases resolved and closed (ie no action): 100

Therefore reported cases resolved and closed = 75%
 
#12
So calling someone a ****** in South Yorkshire is going to get your collar felt...**** me the Bill will be busy.
So THAT'S why all those sleazy, dusky types in Rotherham got away with it. They were polite.
 
#13
So calling someone a ****** in South Yorkshire is going to get your collar felt...**** me the Bill will be busy.
They're a bit busy at the moment raiding the drug dealer up the road.

I'll call them wànkers later.
 
#15
Everyone in the "You're a poo-poo head" thread in the ARRSEhole are turning themselves in immediately.

Seriously, though. Is this just aiming at low-hanging fruit?
 
#20
Sounds like t’Emperor has been busy in those parts. Unless April 1st arrives very late in S Yorks.
 

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